Inuyasha meets Survivor
by KazerDragon
Summary: The number one reality fan fiction on the net! Who keeps hitting on Miroku? Who always dies? Who is having an affair? All this and more. Updates every weekend!
1. Episode 1

Kazer Dragon: Taking Survivor and Inuyasha where no one ever has dared! This is Inuyasha Meets Survivor! I don't own Survivor if I did I would soooo do Jeff, and I don't own Inuyasha if I did I'd do it with Inuyasha, If I had both… you know where this is going…

**INUYASHA MEETS SURVIVOR!**

**Episode 1: The first Immunity**

You hear the Survivor theme song in the background and a random voice says:

2 tribes, 16 bastards, one lucky bastard, this is, Survivor the Feudal islands.

On the far side of Japan, there is an island in the feudal era, for no reason we abducted 16 of the anime character's and threw them on an island to try and survive lets meet them…

Inuyasha: A sociopath amine half demon character.

Kagome: A lover of demons…plus she's got a nice ass.

Sango: If she was a cross dresser she'd be real good at it.

Miruko: He puts the 'ass' in harassment!

Shippo: The little guy who gets hit a lot.

Kikyo: Dead but she still can shake it!

Naraku: Tentacles, too many tentacles…

Sesshomaru: A totally gay demon.

Kouga: And over egotistic man who thinks he's a sexy demon.

Kaede: Itchy boobs old women.

Totsai: Old man, but he's still hot, wait that's his breath…

Jaken: He's the Imp, who everyone loves to smash!

Kanna: Small girl that's probably with the KKK.

Onigumo: He's limpy (wink wink).

Kagura: She'll use her powers of the wind to blow your pants off!

Ogre: Another person on the island.

Shows the title screen with the Survivor logo.

"Pooietang Tribe welcome to the feudal island!" Announces Jeff. The Pooietang tribe consists of: Inuyasha, Miruko, Naraku, Ogre, Totsai, Kanna, Kagura, Jaken.

"Gazonga Tribe welcome to the feudal island!" Jeff says again! The Gazonga tribe consists of: Sango, Shippo, Kikyo, Kagome, Sesshomaru, Kouga, Kaede, Onigumo.

"I am Jeff Probst, and I'll be your host!"

**Miruko – Pooietang tribe**

"So like… check this out. Sesshomaru is already pissing me off. I mean, he keeps asking me about interior decorating. And I'm like: Dude I don't wanna see your schlong. Then he gets all pissy and starts playing on a harp. And I'm like: What the fuck, why do you have to be such a flaming bastard. PLUS he stole my rice cake on the way over here. So what ever this immunity challenge is… I hope it involves me, some hot naked Asians, and a knife to puree Sesshomaru's wanker. Bastard.

"The first Immunity challenge will be short and sweet." Jeff announces. "Each tribe will be given 10 000 HP, first team to reach zero loses. SURVIVOR'S READY… BEGIN!" Jeff runs to the sidelines.

"ALRIGHT EVERYONE SPECIAL POOTIETANG ATTACK NOW!" Yells Inuaysha.

"What the fuck…" asks Onigumo.

The Pootietang tribe jumps on the Gazonga and starts punching them in the face making them lose.

"I've always wanted to smack you, you little bastard." As Kagura punches Shippo.

"Pootietang with a flawless victory you are the winners." Says Jeff staying away from the tribe as they are still punching the other tribe. "Ok you can stop now…" Still punching. "Well when ever you stop I'll see Gazonga tonight at our first tribal council."

You hear Pootietang yelling "Yah!" "Go Pootietang" "We ownz joo"

Gazonga heads to tribal council.

"Psst…Kagome." whispers Sango.

"Sup ma island dawg?" Kagome answers.

"What the fuck? Anyway is it just me or does Sesshomaru's torch look like a penis?" Sango look at the torch made of wax and it seems to have two very round balls on top.

"Yep, looks like a flaming mithril beef to me." Kagome says.

"Where the hell do you get these words?" Sango asks.

"…" Kagome thinks.

"Let's keep moving we have a long road ahead of us." Says Kouga.

"Heehee." Miruko puts his lighted torch in Sesshomaru's hair.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHAHHHHHHHHHHHHH…." Sesshomaru jumps into a near by pond.

"Everyone welcome to the first tribal council." Jeff says. "Each one of you will cast a vote. Whoever has the most votes will leave the island immediately. Kaede your first."

**AFTER ALL THE VOTES ARE CASTED**

"I'll tally the votes, the first vote reads… Sesshomaru, next Kouga, then Shippo, the next one.. HEY WHAT THE HELL IS THIS!" He pulls out one that reads: JEFF IS GAY HAHAHAHAHA. He coughs. "Ahem moving on,"

Giggles. "I think he got my vote." Whispers Kouga.

"The fourth vote is for Sesshomaru, so is the next one, and the sixth one, Sesshomaru bring me your torch." He brings his torch to Jeff. Jeff thinks _Oh my god a Penis torch. _"Sesshomaru the dog demon the tribe has spoken."

"GOOD RIDDANCE YOU BASTARD!" You hear someone that sounds like Miruko yell from a distance.

"The rest of you may head back to camp, good night."

You hear the random voice again.

Sesshomaru is gone but 15 remain, tune in for the next episode!

Kazer Dragon: Ok I might do another one this week but not sure yet! If you like this, check out my other fanfiction THE SERIES and if you can like that read Things you don't expect to see on Inuyasha! Anyway tune in next weekend!


	2. Episode 2

Kazer Dragon: Inuyasha "Arrr the last one wasn't really funny what's the deal." Pokes Leanne with his sword. Leanne "No Anime for 3 weeks can throw off a girl." Inuyasha "Make this one funnier or I'll keel haul ya!" Leanne "Inuyasha why are you wearing a eye patch?" Inuyasha "Isn't it talk like a pirate day?" Leanne "No…"

**INUYASHA MEETS SURVIVOR!**

**Episode 2**

You hear the Survivor theme song in the background and a random voice says:

2 tribes, 16 bastards, one lucky bastard, this is, Survivor the Feudal islands.

On the far side of Japan, there is an island in the feudal era, for no reason we abducted 16 of the anime character's and threw them on an island to try and survive lets meet them…

Inuyasha: A sociopath amine half demon character.

Kagome: A lover of demons…plus she's got a nice ass.

Sango: If she was a cross dresser she'd be real good at it.

Miruko: He puts the 'ass' in harassment!

Shippo: The little guy who gets hit a lot.

Kikyo: Dead but she still can shake it!

Naraku: Tentacles, too many tentacles…

Sesshomaru: A totally gay demon. (Kicked off #1)

Kouga: And over egotistic man who thinks he's a sexy demon.

Kaede: Itchy boobs old women.

Totsai: Old man, but he's still hot, wait that's his breath…

Jaken: He's the Imp, who everyone loves to smash!

Kanna: Small girl that's probably with the KKK.

Onigumo: He's limpy (wink wink).

Kagura: She'll use her powers of the wind to blow your pants off!

Ogre: Another person on the island.

Shows the title screen with the Survivor logo.

"Both tribes are now heading to their camps what will happen there? Last time Sesshomaru was kicked off. Maybe, because he had a penis torch, or the fact that he was flamingly gay? Sesshomaru is here to say a few words about what happened." Jeff announces.

"I can't believe those backstabbers voted me off. I was easily the strongest member in the tribe. It was probably Onigumo, I mean c'mon , it wasn't fair. Just cause I tried to hit on him, doesn't mean he had any right to kick me off! All I said is that he looked good in the mud, I mean he is sooo hot! I wonder why Kikyo didn't jump on that piece of ass! Anyway, got to go. Brandon from Survivor 3 is taking me out for dinner!" Sesshomaru running off with anime style hearts over his head.

**Pootietang tribe camp (Morning).**

They are all lying in a forest clearing sleeping.

Inuyasha wakes.

"Wake up Miruko we gotta go get food for the tribe…" Inuyasha pokes him. Gets mad and yells. "GET YOUR ASS UP!"

Miruko's dream: _Booyah I'm surrounded by all these hot girls not to mention those female demons who wear almost no clothes. _

_Chicks: Oh Miruko we love you in the pants!_

_A bunch of sweaty men appear and the women disappear: We love you in the pants too!_

Miruko wakes up "AHHHHHHHHHHH HOLY SHIT what a nightmare." He shudders. "You bastard I was having the best dream of my life!" Throws his staff at Inuyasha and knocks him unconscious. "Uh oh, awww hell someone get a priestess." Miruko looks around. "Wait a sec, where's Kagura?"

**MEANWHILE Gazonga Tribe.****  
**Everyone is sleeping on a beach but Kouga and Kikyo.

Kouga yells "MARCO!"

Kikyo "POLO!"

Kouga runs really fast to Kikyo. "Haha I win, I found you!"

Kaede wakes up. "Its time to get up everyone! We have work to do! We don't wanna lose again do we?"

Everyone else "Ohhh we lost on purpose. We wanted Sesshomaru out cause he's gay. So shut up."

**Kaede - Ganzonga Tribe**

"I don't understand, they all came on this show to win 1000 pieces of gold, now they're all sitting around doing nothing! Hopefully Kouga will get voted out next."

**Kouga – Ganzonga Tribe**

"What the… This bitch is standing there saying we should have won yesterday! Kaede, I'm sorry but you gotta go. Plus why are we on a beach while the others are in a forest?"

Sango gets hit in the head with a beach ball. "Oww what the fuck…" Looks at it and it has a note on it. "It reads, its time for an immunity thing our writers are on vacation so come or else a owl will eat you?" Sango looks over and a huge owl is in a tree. "Alright its time to go to an immunity challenge."

**Pootietang Tribe.**

Everyone is standing around Inuyasha with a gash on his skull. Miruko uses his monk powers to tape up his head.

Inuaysah stands up. "I'll be alright now it's time to go kick Kouga's fruity ass again!"

They line up and Kagura is in front of Miruko, Inuyasha and Ogre.

"Mmmm hot wind demon ass…" Miruko drools.

"You can say that again…" Inuyasha stares.

"Yes… hot half demon ass…" Ogre tries to pinch Inuyasha's ass.

"OH MY GOD!" Inuyasha runs away.

Ogre runs behind Miruko. "Hot monk ass…"

Miruko starts to run.

"Ogre just wants to be loved…" Runs after everyone.

**SECOND IMMUNITY!**

"Welcome back Pootietang, Ganzonga." Jeff says. "The next challenge will be sinple. A person from each tribe will come fourth and beat the hell out of each other. Sounds fun right?"

"We pick Kouga." Says Kagome.

"We pick Miruko." Jaken says.

"WHAT THE FUCK HE HAS A FRIGGING WHIRLWIND FOR LEGS!" Yells Miruko.

"Oh go on pussy! I'd go but you gave me a freaking gash on my head!" Says Inuyasha. And throws Miruko at Kouga knocking Jeff down.

"HOLY SHIT!" Yells Kouga as Miruko collides with him knocking him out.

"Errr…" Inuyasha says. "WE WIN!"

Cough, wheeze. "g…Gazonga. …tribal…c-c.. my hip…help!" Jeff cries.

"Woohoo!" "Yay!" "We win!" "I'm going to kill you INUYASHA!" Cries Pootietang.

"Ummm Guys?" They hear Miruko's cry.

"Yeah…" Kanna asks.

"I'm kinda suck…" Miruko yells from a tree.

"That indeed sucks." Kanna answers.

**GOING TO TRIBAL COUNCIL!**

"Well here we go again…" Kouga says.

"Heehee… Kouga got beat up by Miruko…" Shippo giggles.

"I'll ignore that." Kouga answers.

"Well well look who's back for more?" Jeff asks.

"Will you just shut the hell up?" Asks Kaede.

"Go blow tree Kaede, but I think you did that already with the scared tree."

…

"LOOK A DEMON DUCK!" Jeff points.

"Like we'd fall for that…" Says everyone on the tribe.

"I feel so used…" Says a demon duck.

"Anyway, Kouga please tell me what are you doing to help your team?" Jeff asks.

"I played Marco Polo with Kikyo I think she felt left out!" Kouga says happily.

"Hell yah, but he won. Bastard." Kikyo says.

"Sango how do you think your tribe is doing?" Jeff asks again.

"Terrible all they do is sit around, we could all do better." Sango answers.

"Alright its time to vote Kouga your up…" Jeff says.

Kouga goes to vote. "Sorry, Kaede. But you're a bitch with saggy boobs, and y'gotta go."

Shippo "Sorry Kaede"

**AFTER ALL THE VOTES ARE COLLECTED…**

"I'll tally the votes…" Jeff pulls one out. "One for Kaede, two for Kaede, one for Kouga…"

"BITCH YOU VOTED FOR ME YOU OLD WHORE!"

"Anyways, three for Kaede, four for Kaede. I don't need to read the rest Kaede bring me your torch." He puts it out. "Get outta here you old hag!"

She's walks away.

"Did I mention the new thing where doing if someone gets kicked off?" Jeff pushes a button. Kaede torch explodes and she gets burned. "You can all go back to camp now I guess."

"It's a damn good thing that all made sense…" Leanne says from her computer.

Kazer Dragon: Ok that's all till next weekend I gotta work on my other fanfictions. Anyways I hope you had fun!

**REVIEW AND TELL ME THIS SUCKS ASS BUT DON'T WORRY IT WILL GET BETTER AS IT PROGRESSES I PROMISE!**


	3. Episode 3

Kazer Dragon: I'm not giving up on this yet. I will make it funny. Sesshy was kicked off first for a reason. Now then lets try this again!

**INUYASHA MEETS SURVIVOR!**

**Episode 3 - Terror**

You hear the Survivor theme song in the background and a random voice says:

2 tribes, 16 bastards,…

"Whoa, whoa, whoa stop the music they've seen this part you skidmark in a whore's panties." Miruko says.

Music still plays.

"TURN OFF THE MUSIC YOU DEAF BASTARD!" Music turns off, Miruko sighs. "That music gets annoying after the second episode. Ok, man here's what you gotta do. You need to get me, and some really hot chicks and then you gotta…"

The music starts again.

"WAIT WAIT I'M NOT DONE YET! I WANT MY NAKED WOMEN YOU BASTARD!"

Totsai comes on the screen. "I'll get naked for you baby!"

"Dammit! GET AWAY FROM ME YOU PRUNE-BALLED BLOWHARD!"

"Oh I know I blow hard… and I know you'll like it!"

"OK THAT'S IT WERE GOING TO PLAY STRIP POKER!" Miruko yells.

Ogre comes on the screen. "DEAL ME IN, BOOTYLICIOUS!"

"… DAMN YOU LEANNE!"

"_HeeHee poor Miruko its time you get what you deserve." Says Leanne from her computer._

"Ok then… I'm going to go beat off now." Miruko starts to leave.

"Can I come?" Asks Ogre. "Whoops I mean cum."

"AHHHHHHHH" Miruko runs away.

Shows the title screen with the Survivor logo.

"Last time Kaede was kicked out for having saggy boobs, we got a special request from Totsai to do something special for her…" Says Jeff.

"Hey old gal, look I didn't mean to hit on Miruko but you know without you and your itchy boobs around I got nothing to scratch I'm going to miss you girl so I want to sing a song for you… OHHHH do your boobs hang low, do they wobble too and fro can you tie em in a knot can you tie them in a bow…"

"Anyway lets join Inuyasha as he is supposed to be gathering food…"

_Hmmm I smell something…_Thinks Inuyasha as he jumps off into the background.

Sesshomaru is in a hut. With several pictures of NSYNC and a poster that says: Home Sweet 3 PENIS 3. His room it lit by many penis torches.

"I can't believe they kicked me off well I will get my revenge. OH JUSTIN WHY CAN"T WE BE TOGETHER? I know Brittany was just a fling Justy-baby… and that no one can make you happy the way daddy Sesshomaru can." Plays on his harp.

Inuyasha jumps into the hut jamming his sword through Sesshomaru. "I so owns you, I AM the ultimate badass!" Grabs a torch and burns Sesshomaru then jumps away.

**Sesshomaru death count 1.**

Inuyasha is back at camp and tell the guys what he did.

"Inuyasha, I love you in the most non-sexual way possible." Says Miruko.

"If I had a nickel for every time I've heard that." Sighs Ogre.

"Well it was pretty sweet, I'm going to go look at Kagura's hooters now later!" Says Inuyasha.

**GAZONGA TRIBE**

"Kouga remind me what were looking for again?" Asks Kikyo.

"Candy bars Kikyo."

"Alright then…"

"Yeah bitch and I get dibs on the Snickers."

Onigumo kicks Kouga in the face.

"You damn idiot no wonder we've already lost two members." Yells Onigumo.

"Well I'm outta medicine so who's going to help him?" Asks Kagome.

Ogre runs up to Kouga. "Kouga! My love! I came as fast as I could! I'll save you!"

"Ogre, I thought I told you to stay the hell away from me!" Kouga says.

"Naw dude, you told me to come back in an hour for head."

_Shoot Kagome's here. _Thinks Kouga. "Ogre…I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN!" Yells Kouga as loud as he can.

_Damn, he's so sexy when he gets mad…_Thinks Totsai.

"I get it Kouga…" Says Ogre. "I was just your booty call. But Ogre… Ogre just want to be loved…" Ogre walks away sad…

"Kouga you heartless bastard, all this time you were spanking my ass, you were only spanking my heart. Even in my… heart… I see… you're not being true… to me…"

_Ogre thinks of Kouga kissing Kagome. "YOU BASTARD YOU'RE CHEATING ON ME!" _

_"Shut up you don't have boobies" Kouga answers._

"Nothing's like it used to be… Sometimes…I wish… I could turn back time…

_Ogre thinks of his heart playing Monopoly with Kouga. _

"_I don't want to play no more." Says the heart._

"_Shut up you're just pissed cause I got boardwalk."_

"_Damn you." His heart breaks in two._

"OH Kouga! My ass is so much harder than Kagome's. You said you liked to romp in my anal forest you bastard!

_Thinks of him and Kouga together. "More booty?" Asks Ogre._

"_YES PLEASE!"_

Ogre is crying he walked all the way back Pootietang camp.

"Hey sweetie you ok?" Asks Jaken.

"Yeah Ogre fine." Ogre sighs. "It's just Ogre's heart… It hurts… so much..."

"It'll be alright buddy lets so get something to eat." Says Inuyasha.

"Yes we must win the next Immunity challenge." Kanna says lifelessly.

_Yummy. _Thinks Jaken.

_No hooters. _Thinks Miruko, turns to Kagura. _LOOK AT THOSE HOOTERS! _

"Miruko is something wrong with me?" Asks Kagura.

"Kagura are you cold?" Asks Inuyasha.

"Yes why?"

Everyone giggles.

Ogre says quietly. "I see hot Monk ass."

"Alright tribe lets head to the next challenge!" Inuyasha says

**At the Immunity challenge.**

"Howdy folks." Says Jeff on a ship. "Its Jeff I-Don't-Like-Anal Probst here…with todays challenge. If any of our survivors are ever in trouble we need to be able to reach them even in the feudal era. So this challenge is very easy, to create the most noticeable distress signal. SURVIVOR'S READY!

"Ready Jeffy-baby." Ogre says.

"Ewww" Inuyasha cries.

"Ready!" Asks Kouga.

"GO!" Yells Jeff.

"Ok Ogre let one rip." Ogre is on the ground with a lit torch near his ass. He farts creating a huge line of fire but it only lasts a few seconds.

"Not very attention grabbing." Says Jeff.

"Ok Priestess ready?" Asks Kouga. "Show your stuff!"

Onigumo launches lots of body part pieces into the air and Kagome and Kikyo launch scared arrows making a huge fire work display.

"Well that was easily noticed." Jeff announces. "Gazonga's you have won your first immunity!"

They all cheer!

"Dammit!" Yells Inuyasha!

"It's all stupid Ogre's fault." Blames Naraku.

**TRIBAL COUNCIL!**

"Welcome to your first tribal council Pootietang."

"Psst Inuyasha, dollar if you kick him in the balls." Whispers Miruko.

"Two and it's a deal." Whispers back Inuyasha.

**AFTER THE VOTE.**

"I'll tally the votes… WHAT THE FUCK!" Pulls out a vote that says: I wrote this in my own poop luv Ogre. "Uhhh One vote for Jaken. Two for Jaken, three for Jaken, four for Jaken, Jaken bring me your torch."

"No need Jeff, he was dissin' Ogre, let me take care of this." Inuyasha punches him and send him flying.

"Hey Inuyasha can you show me that cool trick again?" Asks Miruko.

"Sure thing." Inuyasha jumps off into the background.

Back at Sesshomaru hut his sword kept him alive. "OH HONEYLICIOUS, MY PENIS TORCHES BURN WITH MY PASSIONATE LOVE FOR YOU."

Inuyasha jumps on him stabbing him again through the gut.

**Sesshomaru death count 2.**

"What a damn cool way to end a fan fiction!"

Kazer Dragon: I thought this one was funnier but it's up to you! Tell me I know I'm dirty! I feel so unclean I'm going for a shower now… "skidmark in a whore's panties" Was made by my friend Jeremy and the saggy boobs song wasan ideaNicole.


	4. Epsiode 4

Kazer Dragon: It's the weekend that means it time for your new favourite fan fiction TV show. You know it, love you it, you masturbate to it, its…

**INUYASHA MEETS SURVIVOR!**

**Episode 4 – The Spread**

The Survivor music starts.

Shows the title screen with the Survivor logo.

"I don't know why I got voted off." Jaken says. "I didn't say a damn word!"

"I know how you feel." Sesshomaru says. "I did absolutely nothing!"

"Oh shut the fuck up, I'm tired of you ass raping me all the time! Asshole!"

"…"

"…"

"Your cute when you get mad." Sesshomaru winks.

"I'm LEAVEING!"

"Oh cheer up, papa! There's always the regular TV show!" Says Rin coming out of nowhere.

"Yes…I can still get some…wait for me ogre."

Rin leaves and Miruko comes on the screen. "Ok… stop the music already." Music stops. "Thank you. It's time for the show, bitches"

**Naraku – Pootietang Tribe**

"Well, the day began as usual… Ogre and I went out looking for food. And he kept calling me "Naraky" and nibbling on my tentacles. But that's just Ogre. Anyway we got back, Totsai told us that Kagura and Kanna went off to do a "girl things". Whatever the hell that means."

**Shows Kanna and Kagura giggling.**

**MUCH LATER…**

"Hello, Survivors." Greets Jeff. "It's time for you first award challenge. Pootietang because you have one extra member, someone needs to sit out."

"I will" Totsai volunteers.

"Totsai will sit out. Here's what your playing for…One tube of Willie Spread! The tribe that kills their old tribe member first wins! Survivor's ready? GO!"

"Wait why us?" Asks Jaken.

"Yeah! You told me this was a all male orgy!" Complains Sesshomaru. " I see Girls! HIDE!" Sesshomaru runs away.

Everyone starts running around.

"Uh oh!" Jaken runs right into a circle of his old tribe members.

They circle beat him. BAM, BIFF, WHOMP, BRAWL, CRACK, BURL!

"Gazonga's win!" Jeff announces. "Here's your prize." They take it and go back to camp. "What the hell were we thinking giving away Willie Spread?"

"Wow that looked soo hot, well besides the incredible pain Jaken was in. Maybe I'll get one to beat my ass…" Sesshomaru runs away.

**Kagura – Pootietang Tribe**

"It hurt to lose the first reward challenge. I mean, I don't care for the spread but it's a mental thing. I'm sure we'll win the immunity challenge. Though I hope the next reward challenge is some pads or something cause I forgot and it's getting close. You know I hate to be starting a challenge and then Miruko point out that I have a trail of blood down my legs, and then I'd have to kill him. Not that I mind it's just that I want to win this thing so I can pay off my dept to those man whores. They just keep asking… Wait what do you mean your cutting me off? You can't do that. Oh wait your one of the man whores are you not? I wondered why you taped it last time in the alley…"

**LATER THAT NIGHT**

Kagome and Sango take the spread giggling.

**Inuyasha – Pootietang tribe**

"You know it's pissing me off how lazy Totsai is. We all have to do work around camp. And ass-raping Ogre isn't work. I mean he sat out of the last challenge what the fuck was that? I would think his ass would hurt after what Ogre did to him, we all heard it. How could you not?"

**Gazonga's Tribe.**

"Where are Kagome and Sango? Have any of you guys seen them?" Asks Kouga.

"No." They all say.

"Where could they be? OH KAGOME!" Kouga starts to almost cry.

"HEEHEE!" They hear very loudly.

"UGGGGNHH! YES!"

"…" Everyone just stands there.

**MEANWHILE BACK AT POOTIETANG…**

"Look Ogre we got mail." Says Inuyasha.

Ogre thinks of Miruko. _"Hey Ogre want me to moon you"_

"YES!" Ogre yells.

"Don't get too excited over there." Inuyasha picks up the letter. "Anyway here it is. IT says: Come 2 teh challenge and bring 2 peeps! Luv Jeff. Come on Ogre I'm lazy let's just go ourselves."

"Yes… We'll do it together…"

**BACK AT GAZONGA**

Kagome and Sango are giggling non-stop.

"Who should we send?" Asks Kouga.

"I'm going!" Yells Kagome.

"Me Too!" Sango says.

"…" They both run off.

**At the challenge!**

"Hello Survivors. The next challenge is simple. Each team will look for four pieces of a puzzle that is of the scared jewel first one to complete the puzzle wins. SURVIVOR'S READY! GO!"

Kagome and Sango complete the puzzle before Inuyasha and Ogre find their first piece.

"Gazonga's win! How did you guys do that so fast?" Asks Jeff.

"Power of the spread Jeff." Sango says.

"Hehe tru dat." Kagome adds.

**Kagura – Pootietang tribe**

"Two straight Immunity losses. Kanna and I have decided to vote for Inuyasha. For a leader he sucks ass. He didn't even talk to us about the challenge, WHICH HE LOST! I'm so angry I wish I had some way to relive myself." Winks at the cameraman. "What do you mean no? You couldn't stop saying yes last night! Hey come on! I"LL CUT YOU!…"

**So they head for tribal council.**

"Heehee hot monk ass." Ogre drools.

"Welcome back again. So Inuyasha, Pootietang looked so strong what happened?" Asks Jeff.

"Well Jeff, it boils down to those people who are not pulling their weight in work around camp."

"Ok, So Ogre how did that last challenge make you feel?"

Thinks of Miruko. _"How did it make you FEEL, Ogre? Would it help to FEEL me?"_

"YES IT WOULD MIRUKO!" Ogre yells out.

"Stay. Away. From. ME!" Miruko says.

"Time to vote Miruko your first."

Miruko walks over to the voting area.

"Ogre…you freak me out"

**AFTER EVERYONE VOTES.**

"Ok time to read the votes. First vote is for Inuyasha, so is the second. Third vote is for Ogre, Fourth is for Totsai, Fifth is for Ogre, so that's two votes Inuyasha two votes Ogre one vote Totsai, Sixth is for… Totsai the last vote decides who gets kicked out. The fourth person voted out is…Totsai. Bring me your torch. The tribe has spoken. Twelve people remain who will be votes off next? You can go back to camp now."

Shows the title screen with the Survivor logo.

"AHHHH! They're trying to kill me." Sesshomaru Runs over the logo.

Miruko trips him into the torch I.

"AHHHHHHH! ITS FAKE HOW COME IT BURNS SO!"

"HAHAHAHA! I BREAK ALL DA RULES!"

**Sesshomaru Death Count 3.**

Kazer Dragon: Well that's another one for this week who gets kicked off next? Tune in next week! Read my other Fan fictions for more glorious humour! Remember 'Spread' the word!


	5. Episode 5

Kazer Dragon: I know I was lazy this week with my fan fictions. So as a bonus I'm writing two that's right TWO Inuyasha Meets Survivors this weekend. (This is the part where you cheer). So get a snack and be ready to laugh…I hope, Please laugh or I'll…

**INUYASHA MEETS SURVIVOR!**

**Episode 5**

Miruko walks on the screen and looks around. "Say where is the survivor logo?"

"We're about to drop it so look out."

"Could you hold on to it a minute?" Asks Miruko.

"Why?"

Miruko dials on his cell phone. "Yeah Sesshomaru Justin is right here come on over." Miruko walks off.

Sesshomaru runs on the screen. "OH JUSTIN WHERE ARE YOU! Why can't we be together!"

"WATCH OUT!"

Sesshomaru looks around. "Huh who said that?" The Logo falls on him. "AHHHHHHHHHHH"

"Oh yah!" Yells Miruko and pushes the sign to one side.

"I'm still…alive please help…" Sesshomaru cries.

Inuyasha jumps in and stabs him. "I love stabbing someone when they are down!"

**Sesshomaru Death count 4**

Shows the title screen with the Survivor logo.

"Lets recap on the survivor teams…" Says Jeff Probst. " Pootietang consists of Inuyasha, Miruko, Naraku, Ogre, Kanna and Kagura. Gazonga has Sango, Shippo, Kikyo, Kagome, Kouga and Onigumo. Now then on with the shows dawgs!"

**Pootietang Tribe.**

Inuyasha is pacing about. "WHO THE HELL TRIED TO VOTE ME OUT! WHO EVER IT WAS… I"LL KILL THEM!"

"Hey Inuyasha…" Ogre says.

"YOU TIRED TO VOTE ME OUT IT WAS YOU!" Points at Ogre.

"What?" Ogre asks.

"AAAAHHHH!" Inuyasha jumps on Ogre and they are both on the ground.

Miruko walks in on it. "Don't know, Don't wanna know"

**Gazonga Tribe.**

"Say anyone seen Kouga?" Asks Shippo.

"Naw, He's most likely off screwing Ogre." Says Kikyo.

Kouga walks in. "Hey Guys."

Kikyo looks at him. "Why are you wearing women's clothes that look like Kagome's school outfit?"

"Did you shave you legs?" Asks Shippo.

"I'm using this to hide from Ogre cause we all know he's gay." Kouga laughs. "He'll never notice me. I'm a genius."

"But we can still see your face…" Says Shippo.

"And we noticed you as soon as you walked by." Kikyo points out.

"DAMN IT ALL!"

"Hey I hear something…" Shippo says.

"I think that's his brain imploding…" Kikyo says.

"OH COME ON FASTER FASTER!" You hear Kagome yell.

"I know you can do it! HEY NO BLOWING!" Sango yells.

"YOU DID IT!"

"I'm going to go see…" Kouga goes off and walks over to them…

"HA I KNEW…it?" Kouga looks at Kagome and Sango looking over a puddle of paint.

"GO GO GO Come on red!" Kagome cheers.

"You can do it blue!" Sango says.

"What are you two doing?" Asks Kouga.

"We were bored so were racing to see which paint dries first!" Kagome says.

"Its super fun!" Sango cheerfully says.

"Stupid wanna-be lesbos…" Kouga whispers and walks off.

**REWARD CHALLENGE!**

"Welcome survivors. Today you'll be playing for…" Jeff calls his helps over. "A DEMON ANT! AND A HALF NAKED SNAKE FEMALE DEMON THING!"

"Hell yays!" Yells Miruko.

"To win each tribe members must beat the hell out of one another to win. This could get ugly so everyone should leave."

Inuyasha and Kouga stand off.

"SURVIVORS READY! GO!

Inuyasha hits Kouga with his sword. Kouga jumps into the air.

"Aww hell." Inuyasha says.

Kouga Jumps down and punches Inuyasha in the face. Inuyasha pushes him away and launches a Wind scar that hits Kouga. They both are trying to get up.

"What the hell happened?" Asks Jeff.

"Well he hit me did barely any damage. And, he basically killed himself. What a dumbass." Inuyasha gets up.

"Well it looks like Pootietang won this one!" Jeff announces.

Inuyasha picks up the demon ant; Miruko takes the giant female snake thing.

**Kouga: Ganzonga tribe.**

"Damn Wind scar, I left myself wide open for that one, I hope we win the next challenge or I'm going to have to see Ogre again…DAMMIT ALL"

**Immunity challenge!**

"Ok here we are once again." Jeff pulls out a letter. "Today's challenge is inspired by a letter from a die-heart fan. Lets have a look: How big are Kagome's luv bye. Damn you Leanne. Well the immunity challenge is…guess how big Kagome's breasts are…"

"Miruko you are a god." Says Inuyasha.

"Anyway… SURVIVORS READY! GO!"

"35dd" Says Kagura.

"What the fuck… how did you know?" Asks Jeff.

"What the hell…" Kouga whines.

"Anyway Ganzonga's trible council, be there or be killed."

**Tribal council.**

"Ok no one gets killed, damnit." Says Jeff holding up a rusty knife. "Kouga how does it feel to lose again?"

Kouga cries… "Kagome…"

"Anyway how did Kagura know Kagome?"

"Well Jeff it all boils down to a dog demon who can't get outta his boat."

"Kikyo, how come you didn't know? You two are the same person and all." Jeff asks

"Well in the feudal era we don't have a bra yet."

"Alright time to vote!"

**After all the votes have been cast.**

"One for Kikyo, two for Kikyo, three for Kikyo, one for Kouga, four for Kikyo. Kikyo your out bring me your torch." Jeff puts the thing over it. Pulls it off. "What the it won't go out!"

"That's because it burns with love for Kagome."

"THAT BITCH!" Kouga grabs a sword and throws it at her pinning to the wall through her throat.

"Blah, blah, blah, Kikyo kicked out, a hell of a lot of people still live on." Jeff says. "Get the fuck outta here."

"Ogre likes bodies!" Ogre sits on Kikyo's dead body.

Kazee Dragon: Hope you liked it. Now I'm going to go clean the house and stomp on flowers!


	6. Episode 6

Kazer Dragon: Yah I know, I was gone all Sunday so I couldn't get it done. So if you forgive I'll give you multiple Sesshomaru deaths.

Sesshomaru Death count is 4 

**INUYASHA MEETS SURVIVOR!**

**Episode 6 – The Yellow Death**

**Pootietang Tribe**

"Come on don't wuss out Miruko." Inuyasha says.

Miruko is on his cell phone.

"Yeah it's not my fault you lost the bet." Naraku says.

**Earlier that day…**

The Dial-A-Ho Super bet!

Name -----Telephone #'s -----Points -----Postion -----Rank

Inuyasha ------9 ------------------1900 ------1st---------Grand Bishmaster

Naraku --------9------------------1900 -------1st --------Grand Bishmaster

Miruko-------- 0------------------- 0 ----------3rd --------Little Flamer

_Oh please come on sugarmamma. _Miruko thinks talking to a whore. Miruko looks at her trying to think of something smooth. "WOW LOOK AT THOSE BOOBS!" You hear the wind. "…..Awe damn!"

The hooker kicks him in the balls and walks away.

"Kids these days…"Says the hooker.

Miruko ------0 ---------------- (-1) ----------3rd ------Grand Masturbator

"Heehee you beat it" Ogre says.

Shows the title screen with the Survivor logo.

**As we return, Miruko has to fess up for losing the Dial-A-Hoe Super bet…**

"Fair is fair Miruko. We got the booty and you didn't… now call!" Inuyasha points at his cell phone.

_Heehee booty call…_ Thinks Naraku.

"Shut up you assgoblin its ringing…" Miruko waits.

A vampire demon hears his phone ringing in a graveyard.

"Awe hell, de phone again… Justin bring me my phone now." Justine Timberlake brings over his phone and leaves. "Bye bye bye baby hee hee…"

"DAMN YOU ZEMUS THE VAMPIRE DEMON!" Sesshomaru yells from his room.

"Hello…dark evil Zeromus may I help you?"

_I can't believe I'm doing this…_ Miruko thinks. "Z-baby I just wanna slobber all over your Naughty banana…"

"Say I do find myself to be a nice piece of beef…" Zemus winks. "Say do you like the Hanson brothers?"

Miruko covers the talking piece and says to the guys. "Sounds like Regis Philbin in a fat purple suit…"

"That's damn nasty…" Inuyasha pretends to puke.

"One time…" Zemus continues. "I was at this concert and I saw Zack Hanson. And I waved at him, and he waved back. A match made in heaven? I think so…" (Insert perverted noises here)

"…" Everyone thinks.

Miruko throws the phone.

The phone flies all the way and hits Sesshomaru right in the back of the head.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Sesshomaru screams.

**Sesshomaru's death count 5.**

**Meanwhile, as Miruko's side of the bet is done, a chance meeting between two opposite tribe members occurs…**

"Kagome I need to talk to you about something…" Says Kagura.

"Sure Kagura what is it?" Asks Kagome

"Well the tribes are about to merge and I just want to make sure we're on the right page."

"We are, but I don't think I'm going to vote for Inuyasha. He can prove useful in the challenges to come… plus free booty for me."

"…Alright just don't vote for Miruko."

"But don't you hate the horny bastard?" Asks Kagome.

"Look I love our little bouncity-bounce-bounce but you have Inuyasha on the side and I want Miruko's buttergun. He's just too sexy…" Kagura winks.

"**OH HELL YES!"** Miruko yells.

"Yeah he's just so…dreamy…" Kagura starts to laugh. "HA, YEAH RIGHT! I betcha Miruko never scores with anyone but Sango and then its only pity…"

"**DAMN IT ALL, YOU BEASTIALITY CRAVING WENCH-WHORE!" **He screams.

**As Miruko soothes his fury via right hand, another heated encounter takes place…**

Kouga is walking through some tunnels. "Rubicant!" He yells.

"Kouga you have been chosen...to die." Rubicant says evilly. He wears a robe.

"Man, cover up…I can see your balls from here…"

"Oh sorry." Throws the robe all the way over. "Say, does my butt look big?"

"OH HELL NO! I don't see any candy bars here I'm so gone."

"No really I want to know." Kouga walks away. "Kouga you will pay…"

**Back at Pootietang Inuyasha stirs up more trouble…**

Inuyasha is walking toward Sesshomaru's tent. "Almost there…."

Inuyasha turns off the lights.

"What the…" The lights turn on Sesshomaru looks behind him.

"OH MY FUCKING GOD!"

"PIKA!" Hundreds of Pikachu's go running at him with chainsaws.

Inuyasha turns off the lights. (Insert killing noises here.)

The lights go back on and blood is everywhere plus body parts.

**Sesshomaru Death count 6.**

**After the sixth death of Sesshomaru, members of the Gazonga tribe a little bold, and try to steal Pootietang food supply…**

Kouga runs all over it. "Candy bars? Candy bars? Where are you….Damn nothing."

Miruko holds a switch. "Ha ha Bitch." Pushes a button.

Woooo Wooo! And train runs over Kouga. "AAAAHHH CANDY BARS!"

**Kouga being the damn idiot that he is, falls for Miruko's trap. We now head for the immunity challenge.**

"Hi folks. Jeff Probst here with your sixth immunity challenge. We all know it takes courage, strength and guts to become the final survivor. But it also takes patience. Behind me are two posts where they must stand with there hands on this torch that is melting for as long as possible. The two survivors where randomly chosen. Onigumo and Miruko Survivors ready… GO!"

They both hole on to it.

"I'm not losing bitch." Miruko taunts.

"We'll see about that you little bastard."

**One hour later.**

"GOD DAMN IT IS HOT AND MY BALLS ARE SWEATY AND THERE IS WHITE STUFF ALL OVER THIS TORCH!" Miruko yells.

"Probably should have wiped that off hehe." Randomly says Ogre.

"I DIDN"T ASK FOR NAUGHTY HAND CREAM JUST A POLE AND YOU PUT UP SESSHOMARU'S ASS RAPING ANAL TORCH YOU BASTARDS!"

"Will you shut up? I'm trying to concentrate." Says Onigumo.

"Say if your mother and father got a divorce, would they still be brother and sister?" Miruko says.

**Four Hours.**

"Must suck to be up there." Ogre says.

"Ogre. Burn. In. Hell." Miruko angrily says.

"Ok baby I'll save you a seat heehee."

**Six Hours.**

A porno flies by and lands right beside Miruko.

"OH. MY. GOD It's the hardcore Demon on Demon Ultra Lesbians Licky- Lick Issue! Sweet ass!" Miruko jumps down.

"Gazonga's win! You let go Miruko."

"Oh no sir…my hands are doing a damn good job on the pole… mmmm…ohhh. Oh wait the torch damn hey wait there's a line connected to my porno…"

"Revenge bastard!" Kouga pushes and button and a train sends Miruko flying.

"Dammit I hope insurance covers that…" Jeff says. "THIS SHOW IS CALLED SURVIVOR NOT GET YOUR ASS RUN OVER BY A TRAIN! Ok Onigumo you can head back to camp."

Onigumo picks up the porno and leaves.

**TRIBAL COUNCIL**

"Alright look bitches..." Jeff says to Pootietang. "ALL OF YOU BASTARDS JUST WANT TO DIE DIE DIE! SO THERE'S GOING TO BE NO VOTE TONIGHT YOU WANNA KNOW WHY! CAUSE ITS TIME FOR JEFF TO KICK SOME HALF PORNO ANIME ASS!" Jeff pulls out a gun and shoots Kanna in the head. Everyone runs away.

Kazer Dragon: Yeah its different I'm on sugar LAUGH AND REVIEW YAH PERSON OR I"LL BEAT YOU IN A NON SEXUAL WAY!


	7. Episode 7

Kazer Dragon: The tribes merge into one large tribe. What controversy will be stirred up? How many times will Sesshomaru die? Who does Ogre decide to hit on 3297493274 times? All this and more in your new favourite reality TV fan fiction!

**INUYASHA MEETS SURVIVOR!**

**Episode 7**

"Last time on Survivor…" Jeff starts. "Onigumo beat Miroku to win immunity for his tribe. At tribal council I went berserk and killed Kanna. NO ONE BRINGS A TRAIN TO MY ISLAND! Bastards."

Shows the title screen with the Survivor logo.

"I can't believe Jeff killed me." Says Kanna. "Is the host even allowed to do that? And why couldn't he have picked one of those other idiots?"

"Would you stop complaining?" Says Jaken. "JEEZE dying isn't THAT BAD!"

"But…but…it hurt."

"SHUT UP BOTH OF YOU!" Jeff yells pushing the button making a train send them flying. WOOO WOO. "BISH! I ownz this place!"

"mmm…Zemus…those nights in the pasture…" Sesshomaru says in a field. "With the cows… I'll never forget…"

"Ahhh!" Jaken and Kanna land on Sesshomaru.

"Oh my god!" Miroku says walking up. "THIS IS NOT HAPPENING!" Miroku faints.

"NECRO!" Yells Ogre walking up and runs over to them…

CENSORED!

Shows the title screen with the Survivor logo again so you don't see Ogre on dead body love.

Sesshomaru Death count 7.

Its nighttime and Inuyasha and Miroku walk up to a sleeping Ogre.

"Psst, 50 bucks if you stick a torch up his ass." Miroku whispers passing Inuyasha the torch he was carrying.

"Hell no!" Inuyasha loud whispers back.

"100!" Miroku says.

"Dude" Inuyasha starts. "I'm not going anywhere near that stanky bean dispenser."

"…" Miroku thinks. "200!"

"Why do want to see this so bad?" Asks Inuyasha.

"Well I um…"

"200 it is…" Sticks it down and Ogre farts sending Inuyasha flying.

"OH GOD!" Miroku yells.

"umm mmm is that you Miroku my sweet?" Asks Ogre. "Come give papa Ogre a back rub."

"AHHHHHH…" Miroku runs away.

Onigumo and Shippo are checking the mail.

"Look Onigumo we got island mail!" Says Shippo.

"What's it say?" Asks Onigumo.

"Umm…Hi you like to eat so push rocks you'll win stuff Luv Jeff" Shippo reads.

"What the? That doesn't even rhyme!" Onigumo says.

"This show has really taken a turn for the worse." Says Shippo.

"Agreed."

**At the Reward Challenge.**

"Hello Survivors." Greets Jeff. "Before we start the challenge I have an important announcement…"

"SHUT UP PROBST WE WANT FOOD!" Yell Miroku.

Everyone turns quiet.

"Umm please?"

"You wanna die Miroku? Die like Kanna? HUH? YOU WANNA DIE YOU LITTLE BITCH?" Jeff Yells.

"…" Miroku's eyes are poped out. "No…" _What A bitch._

"THEN SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Jeff takes a breath. "Anyway before this challenge…the tribes are going to merge. Thus you are part of one big tribe... THE MEGAZONGAS!"

"OH HELL YES!" Miroku yells.

"So wanna know what you're playing for?" Asks Jeff.

Ogre thinks about Miroku says: _Wanna play with me, Ogre? Hmm? I'll be your prize! _Ogre yells out. "A DREAM DATE WITH MIROKU! YES!"

"WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE SO GOD DAMN SCARY!" Yells Miroku.

_Pay back you prev. _Thinks Sango.

"Not a dream date…" Jeff says.

"WHAAAAA!" Ogre runs off crying.

"Thank god!" Miroku says.

"First you'll be playing for this nice hot bowl of Hot, Mysidian-style wieners." Jeff shows the bowl.

Ogre runs back. "DID SOMEONE SAY MYSIDIAN-STYLE WIENERS?" Ogre winks at Miroku. "I know a wiener I'd like to get my hands on…"

"OH HELL NO!" Miroku yells.

"And you'll enjoy your wieners with our mystery guest hidden behind this curtain!" Jeff shows the curtain, and rolls a rock up. "First person to roll their rock across the finish line wins!"

They all line up with their rocks.

"Survivor's ready? GO!" Jeff watches them run. "Urge to kill…rising…"

"You'll never beat me." Inuyasha says to Kouga.

"We'll see about that!" He yells back.

Inuyasha throws his rock at Kouga and takes Kouga's rock.

Miroku is behind. "Phew… I just gotta beat Inuyasha." Looks around. Sucks up the rock with his wind tunnel. He starts to run.

"Miroku win!" Announces Jeff. "Your mystery date is…ROSIE O'DONNELL!"

"AHHHHHHH!" Inuyasha runs away screaming.

"Sorry little buddy I got a little hungry and ate all the wieners." Says Rosie. "But hey we can have a good time together."

"I'd rather lick Ogre's balls…" Miroku says.

"Is that a promise?" Says Ogre running up.

"I can't win." Miroku slams his head off the ground "I HATE THIS GAME!" Miroku runs off.

"Wait up little buddy!" Rosie runs after him.

"Its just the two of us now…" Ogre winks at Jeff.

Jeff runs away and Ogre follows.

Sesshomaru is still in the field.

"Jaken's staff is digging into my back…but I'll come back to life…I will have my revenge!"

"So then…" Rosie continues. Her and Miroku are sitting on a mountain. "I told the lovely people at KOOSH. "Hey I'll fire a KOOSH ball during every show if you sponsor me!" And they agreed. But GOD I do love KOOSH. Do you like KOOSH? Of course you love KOOSH! I get $10 every time I say KOOSH! KOOSH! KOOSH! KOOSH! KOOSH! Gee don't talk all at once!"

"DIE!" Miroku pushes her off the cliff. "Sweet Bliss." Miroku walks away.

"I told you!" Kouga says back at the camp to Inuyasha. "Kagome wouldn't give you some booty. But you had to ask her anyway."

"At least I have the balls to ask." Inuyasha says.

Miruko walks into camp.

"How was you date?" Kouga teases.

"IT WASN'T A DAM DATE. She was annoying as hell. So I pushed her off a cliff."

Sesshomaru is looking around the mountain. "They must be around here somewhere…"

Falling noise. THUMP. Rosie falls on Sesshomaru. "For the love of KOOSH!" Gets up and walks off.

**Sesshomaru's death count 8.**

Kagome and Kagura are in a cave.

"Hey Kagura…" Starts Kagome. "I wrote a song for you…do you want to hear it?"

"OF COURSE!" Yells Kagura.

Kagome starts singing a song called Best Friends by Toy Box.

"OH YES I'm going to spill juices everywhere this is so good." Kagura yells.

Inuyasha walks in _I'm out of here before they start tickling tummies._ Thinks Inuyasha and leaves.

Kagome is still singing.

"THIS ROCKS!" Kagura yells. "Kagome you are the best."

Ogre is walking in a forest. He walks into a rock. "Grrr stupid rock. You were all that stood between me and a Miroku wiener feast."

Miroku walks in. "OH MY GOD I will never get that horrid picture out of my head now. Thank you." He leaves.

"Did someone just say head?" Asks Ogre. Kicks the rock.

Sesshomaru is brought back to life thanks to his sword again. " Ungh…" He gets up. The rock hits him. "I'm still alive." He says weakly.

**Immunity Challenge.**

"Welcome to your immunity challenge." Says Jeff. "This challenge will twist on the last challenge."

"NO WAY. I'M NOT HOLDING ON TO ANOTHER SEMENPOLE!" Yells Miroku.

"HeeHee Don't worry I'm all semened out from last night…" Ogre says. "Right Jeffy?"

Everyone laughs.

Jeff coughs. "In this challenge you will all stand on podiums scattered around the field. But you won't stand there. Our specialized team of ninja's with throw swords at you. Ninja's introduce yourselves."

And all female Ninja group come out.

"They are so cute! I don't want to kill them." Says hot ninja girl.

"Shut up, Tiffany!" Says another hot ninja girl.

"Make me bitch!" Says Tiffany.

"Just shut up and grip your sword."

"They can grip my sword!" Miroku says drooling.

"Me too?" Asks Ogre.

Miroku moves away form Ogre. "Take one step closer and I'll use my wind tunnel on you!"

"Alright take your places." Jeff says.

"I'm competing too." Says Rosie.

"I see monk ass." Ogre says.

"You are so dead…" Miroku says. Jumps on Ogre's podium.

"Umm closer." Ogre smiles.

"DIE!" Miroku kicks him right in the nuts. Jumps over to Rosie and kicks her. "Right in the nuts." Tries to jump back to his own podium but get hit with a sword. "DAMMIT!" He says lying on the ground.

"So were all voting the same way?" Asks Sango to Kagome, Kagura and Shippo.

"We don't have a chance otherwise." Shippo points out.

"Us in the final four sounds good." Says Kagome.

Ogre falls on all of them knocking them off.

Onigumo gets hit in the head with the handle of a sword. Kouga jumps on one but slips.

Inuyasha thinks and jumps into the trees.

"That's cheating!" Yells Naraku. Grabs a sword thrown at him. Inuyasha starting falling down and Naraku throws the knife at him knocking him down.

"Naraku wins!" Jeff announces.

"Help… the sword is lodged in my head." Inuyasha cries.

"I wonder where all those thrown swords go?" Questions Kouga.

Sesshomaru is back at the mountain. "I love my animal friends!" He pets his cat, dog and bird. Swords pierce through all of them.

**Sesshomaru's death count 9.**

"Its pretty obvious," Starts Naraku talking to Onigumo. "That Inuyasha, Miroku and Kouga will all vote the same way."

"Sango, Kagome, Shippo and Kagura will stay together to." Onigumo says.

"So whom should we vote for?" Asks Naraku.

"How about you go talk with one group and I'll go talk with the other?" Suggests Onigumo.

"Sounds good." They leave to go talk with them.

Beep Beep! Rosie riding a bike runs over Sesshomaru's body!

**Sesshomaru's death count 10.**

**And so, allies formed, strategies prepare for the vote that night…**

"Welcome Survivors." Says Jeff. "Tonight you can vote for anyone but Naraku who won immunity. Ogre how much work do you do at camp? Do you feel like a slave?"

Ogre thinks of Miroku saying. _Can I be your slave Ogre? I'll do whatever you say… _"YES PLEASE MIROKU!" He yells out.

"You are so voted out tonight!" Says Miroku.

Jeff asks Sango. "Do you feel safe tonight?

"I haven't said much so sure."

"Ok go vote."

After all the votes.

"First vote, Kagura, second Ogre, third Kagura, fourth Kouga, fifth Kouga, sixth Kouga, seventh Kagura, eighth Kouga, ninth Kagura and the seventh person voted out of the island is…Kagura. Take you torch and get lost." Kagura blows a kiss at Kagome and walks off. "Go back to camp."

**Kagome's After Speech!**

"Grr... how could they vote out Kagura I will have my ultimate revenge very, very soon they'd better watch their backs. I mean geez I am so pissed right now I could seriously go and have violent sex with a horse or maybe even some of those hot ninja babes. Grrr I mean I'm mad enough to go and beat up someone maybe Inuyasha or Miroku or Naraku. Yeah I should go beat up Naraku he won immunity but maybe I should best up Ogre if he hadn't fallen on all of us we might've been able to win immunity and save Kagura. Grrr it just makes me mad as hell to think about it. Dude I think I hear the Disney channel on in the next room. I just love the Disney characters. Donald kinda makes me wanna get a little kinky. Anyway I really think Mickey should back off that duck is going to be mine soon enough. Stupid mouse I want that sexy duck ass oh baby yeah bring it to me Donald if you want you can bring Goofy too. He's so hot for a dog and the Goofy ones really get me riled up in the bed. Lets get this party on baby OH OH OH yeah yeah yeah I think I hear Justin in the next room. Every little think I do baby never seems enough for Justin. I don't wanna lose him again, he's such my man…OH MY GOD what am I saying! I'm cheating on Kagura! No Kagura baby! I didn't mean any of it! I don't like Donald I don't like Mickey I don't like Goofy I don't like Justin! I don't, don't like any of them I just want another taste of your naughty wind boobies. Come on just one more time before I have to go bye bye!"

Kazer Dragon: That was long! I hope you liked it! I loved writing that one! Kagome speech, I was playing kingdom hearts too much. If you read it all! If you read anything I write your messed!

**Reviewers are my best friends… **

**Best of all best friends**

**You tickle in my tummy!**

**It tastes so yummy yummy!**

**I want you reviews too!**


	8. Episode 8

Kazer Dragon: Well you know what you've been waiting for all week… No not a 14-person orgy. IT'S TIME FOR…

**INUYASHA MEETS SURVIVOR!**

(I bet you didn't see that coming did you?)

**Episode 8**

"Oh Sango baby. I knew you'd come around…"

"HeeHee"

The lights turn on. Miruko is biting Ogre.

Miruko opens his eyes. "…" Looks at Ogre. "AAAHHHHHHHHHHH…" Faints.

"Why does that always happen?" Asks Ogre.

Shows the title screen with the Survivor logo.

Ogre is talking with Kouga and Inuyasha. Miruko walks up to them.

"Hey Miruko baby. I was just telling them of our little moment last nite…" Ogre says.

Snicker.

"…" Miruko pulls out a knife at hits Ogre with it but it bounces off him.

Sesshomaru is walking through the forest. BAM hits him in the head.

**Sesshomaru's death count 11.**

Miruko is running away from the camp. "Finally, I've escaped that damn hell hole. I can't believe this game, holding onto a penis torch? Oh well. At least I escaped. Finally."

"Fool!" Yells Jeff. "Trying to escape!" Up in the air he's riding on a flying dragon. "Ready! Fire!"

"Can't wait to get home." Miruko says. "What's that?" Looks up and Ogre falls onto of him.

"Heehee interesting position huh?" Asks Ogre.

"Bulls eye, good job Mr. Dragon." Jeff says.

**Back at camp.**

"Sango so wants me dude." Kouga says to Inuyasha.

"You might come 'short' on the job. Remember Kagome?" Inuyasha winks at him.

Miruko and Ogre walk by.

"Get the hell away from me you bastard." Miroku yells and runs away.

"Ogre lonely." Ogre cries.

"…" Kouga stands there.

"RUN!" Yells Inuyasha and they both take off.

Ogre cries harder.

**Reward Challenge.**

"Welcome back Survivors." Jeff says. "Today, one of you will win…this dragon drawn on a black piece of paper! To win this fabulous prize, you must fight a giant demon. The demon will be here shortly."

"No Jeff." Miroku interrupts. "We've had enough. This has gone to far."

They all circle around Jeff.

"Uhh…Guys? …Awe hell…" They all circle beat him. And they take the drawing. "Help…"

"Oh my GOD!" Yells Ogre. "How dare you guys beat up Jeffy. I mean we've had our problems like any couple I just wanted Miroku's hot wiener if you know what I mean…Wait up Miroku!" Runs after them.

**Meanwhile…**

"Oh gods…" Says Sesshomaru in the forest still playing his harp. "Please let me live more than 5 seconds….AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" A giant demon crushes him.

**Sesshomaru's death count 12.**

The Demon walks off his body. "…dammit…"

**Meanwhile…AGAIN!**

Miroku is standing on top of a mountain. "With this piece of paper, I shall escape." The paper starts to glide with Miroku on it. "Yes take me home." It slows down and starts to turn up. "Dammit…AHHHHHHHHHHHH" Falls on top of Sesshomaru. Walks away.

**Sesshomaru's death count 13.**

"I have a feeling, that I'll be voted out." Says Naraku to Onigumo.

"Why?" Onigumo asks.

"Look at this…" Shows a piece of paper with Naraku's face on it with an X through it.

"Hahahahaha look they drew my hair in with a purple crayon." Naraku laughs. "If that isn't flaming then I don't know what is."

"…" Onigumo has a weird look on his face.

"Uhh Onigumo?" Asks Naraku. "ONIGUMO WHAT THE FU…"

Onigumo is thinking. _Oh Onigumo. Kiss me. _

They are kissing and Miruko walks up to them.

"What…the…fuck…"

**Immunity Challenge.**

"Welcome back Survivors." Jeff says. "Today, for Immunity, you must please this Ogre." Brings out another Ogre that looks like Ogre only with a different colour.

"…." Everyone cept Ogre.

Everyone runs away but Ogre. The two Ogre's go off together.

"Hi. Leanne has taken over my body for a few seconds." Says Jeff. "I beat cancer and by cancer I mean children." Jeff goes back to normal. "Anyway it seems Ogre won. See you at tribal council."

**Back at camp.**

"So dude did you and Sango do anything?" Inuyasha asks Kouga.

"Naw they said they were doing something else." Kouga says. "Say do you hear that?"

"Kagome don't do that. Last time you left a stain like a skid mark." Sango says.

"Oh come on. Let me water it heehee." Kagome giggles.

"No way look at it already. Its like a bush!" Sango cries.

"Yours is quite hairy too."

Inuyasha and Kouga look at each other. The smile and run as fast as they can….

"OH FOR THE LOVE OF!" Inuyasha cries.

"What's wrong Inuyasha?" Kagome asks.

"What are you two doing?" Kouga asks.

"We're racing to see who's grass grows the most before tribal council." Sango answers.

They both leave disappointed.

"I guess they don't like our little games." Kagome say.

"Do you think it was a good idea to grow the grass where the paint was?" Asks Sango.

"Yeah what's it going to do?" Kagome says.

**Tribal Council (No Ogre lovein for you!)**

"And once again I have to say hello." Jeff says. "Wait a sec? Where's Ogre?"

"The better phrase is 'wait a sex,'" Miruko says.

"… I don't wanna know. Okay Sango how is camp life?"

"Its great but Kagome keeps beating me. And it's really hard to take." Sango says.

"Kouga are you secure with your position in the tribe?" Jeff Asks.

"Yes its quite comfy thanks." Kouga replies.

"…You guys better vote before I kill all of you." Jeff says.

**After all the votes.**

"I'll tally the votes."

**And so the votes were tallied.**

"First vote Naraku."

**The first vote was** **Naraku.**

"… Shut up."

**Fine. Jerk.**

"Second vote Naraku, Third Inuyasha, Fourth Naraku, Fifth Kouga, Sixth Naraku the last vote Naraku. Get lost. The rest of you can head back to camp."

Naraku takes his torch and leaves.

"MY HAIR IS BLACK DAMMIT!" Yells Naraku.

**And so Naraku was voted out. But what about the grass.**

"Ha I have gained intelligence." Says the grass, which is blue. "I will rule the world."

"Not if I do first!" Says the green grass.

"Green grass my moral enemy"

"We will see who rules the world first. Muwhahahaha."

A lawn mower comes by. "What that?" Asks blue grass.

"It is the creator. Quickly we must stand together!" The lawn mower runs over them.

"AAHHHHHHHHH THE PAIN OH GOD ITS RIPPING OFF MY BODY PARTS!" The grasses cry before dieing.

Why did a lawn mower come through? 

"I can live…" Sesshomaru says getting the drawing off. "YES I"M ALIVE!" Lawn mower comes. "NOOOOOOOOOOO…."

**Sesshomaru's death count 14.**

Kazer Dragon: Yes well that's it folks. For another week. Tell all your friends ok? If you don't…I'll send grasses after you! Same for al of you who don't review!


	9. Episode 9

Kazer Dragon: I've been having no… well no random ideas. But at least I get to kill Sesshomaru without a reason! Oh yes I saw the ending to Inuyasha this weekend. It blows, chunks, big Harry testicle like chunks. I mean it. Inuyasha fans, I suggest downloading the last few episodes and just watching the movies. I mean I'm so pissed at the ending…

**INUYASHA MEETS SURVIVOR!**

**Episode 9: Booty Call(er) Enjoy the Orgasmic Episode.**

Last time stuff happened…

Now more stuff will happen…

All the Survivors are jumping up and down! "Woot More stuff!"

Sesshomaru is crying. "Dammit…I'm just gonna end up dying again."

Everyone claps and whistles. "YES, Woot! WOO HOO." They all jump.

"DAMN YOU ALL!" Sesshomaru yells.

"Man, I could sure use a nice, warm piece of ass." Jeff says.

"You rang, my sweet bitchfritter." Ogre says.

"What the hell was that? DO YOU WANT YOUR ASS KICKED!"? Jeff yells at Ogre.

"Well of course I want my ass licked." Ogre licks his lips.

Jeff runs off the screen. You hear sounds of his throwing up.

"Put the damn sign up! We could have killed Sesshomaru by now!" Yells Miroku.

"You son of a bitch!" Sesshomaru calls.

"Yo mama's a what!" Miroku calls back.

Shows the title screen with the Survivor logo.

As the day begins, Ogre and Miroku settle their differences briefly, until yet again, Miroku is pissed off.

**Miroku- MEGAZONGAS**

"Okay…you guys aren't gonna believe this shit. Ogre and I were playing a friendly game of chess. I was gonna own him then all of a sudden…THAT SON OF A BITCH JIZZES ALL OVER MY ROOK." Holds up the rook.

"I'm sorry." Says Ogre walking up to him. "Honey I just couldn't hold my load any longer HEHE."

"My ass. I'm gonna go see what Kagome is doing." Miroku walks off.

And so Miroku goes to Kagome's studies to see what he's doing…

Miroku knocks on Kagome's door. "Damit if I knew that fucking the producers would have gotten me a house I would have said hell yes to that guy." Miroku sighs and calls. "YO BIG K… YOU IN THERE!"

You here a dance song in the background. Inside Kagome is dances.

"What the fuck…" Miroku opens the door and Kagome comes out signing.

"Got my Condoms in a big ass sack. I'm slaggin this dick like a new jack. BIATCH." Kagome shoots Miroku. And runs off.

**As Miroku brought back to life by a CBS white mage, Inuyasha once again goes for a walk…**

"I ain't dying this time bitches." Sesshomaru says from his tent. He goes and runs into the forest.

Inuyasha runs up to him. "Pikachu's attack!" He yells.

"AAAHHHH!" Sesshomaru runs away from the pikachu chainsaw army.

"A half demon ALWAYS has a back-up plan…heh heh. That poor bastard, I can't wait to see them tank his ass." Inuyasha laughs.

Sesshomaru is still running. "Whew…I think I lost 'em. Awe shit!" The army comes from the front.

"SAY YOUR PRAYERS BITCH!" A pikachu yells.

"NOT IF YOU CAN'T CATCH ME!" Sesshomaru yells.

"Damn demon…P.C.T KICK HIS ASS!" Inuyasha calls.

"LATER BASTARDS!" Runs the other way… "AHAHHHHHHHH" A tank full of pikachu's run over him.

"THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR TOUCHING MY ASS YOU CHILD-MOLESTING SON OF A BITCH!" Miroku yells by Kagome's pad.

Inuyasha jumps on the tank. "PIKACHU COMMANDO TANK AND ASSISTING PIKACHUS, WE ARE VICTORIOUS!"

They all jump yelling Pi, Pikachu.

**Sesshomaru's death count 15.**

**As Inuyasha and the Pikachu soldiers celebrate, we return to the local bar that was given to them cause I got some from… well you understand. Well there's a small party going on! Lets look in…**

Everybody is in the bar.

Kouga runs around the bar. "Candy Bars? Candy Bars? Candy Bars?"

"Onigumo please…" Miroku asks.

Onigumo kicks and knocks him down. Ogre takes the knocked out Kouga.

"Thanks man." Miroku says.

"No problem." Is his response.

"Psst Miroku." Onigumo whispers moving close to Miroku.

"Onigumo?"

"Yeah?"

"Get away from my ass. NOW." He yells at Onigumo.

_Damn _Onigumo thinks. Moves in front of him. "Alright anyhow, check this out. Earlier today, Sango and I were talking. And I offered her some special candy."

"Hey Sango." Onigumo walks up to her. "You want sum Spanish Fly Candies?"

"Sure!" Sango smiles.

_Dumbass _Onigumo thinks.

"So anyway." Onigumo continues. "Sango should be INCREDIBLY HORNY right…about…now!"

"Miroku…" Sango starts. "COME LET MOMMA SANGO SUCK THAT SWEET CANDY CANE OF YOURS!"

"OH.MY.GOD" Miroku runs over picks Sango up and runs into a back room.

"DAMMIT I WANT SOME HOT SLAYER ASS TOO!" Onigumo runs into the room to.

"Can I come to?" Asks Shippo.

"Yes my adorable little Shippo. Sango has a mouth that needs fillin!" Kagome says.

"SWEET ASS!" Shippo runs into the room.

"Mmmm…" Kagome looks around. "Heehee.." Runs into the room too.

The Pikachu's run to the room. "WOOHOO WE'RE GONNA GET SOME CARPET POONTANG!"

The Tank with Jeff on the back come in. "YEEEHAAWWW! WE'RE THE TANK MANNIN' SPANK-BANGIN' TOUGHEST BADASS PIKACHU BITCHES YOU"VE EVER SEEN!" Drives into the room.

**Well It's happened, folks…Miroku finally got laid. Oh yeah the rest of the show. After two nights of sweet sweet Orgies, we resume a normal episode, where Miroku is drawn to a rather interesting group of treasures…**

Miroku sees a hot island girl. "BOOBIES BOOBIES BOOBIES BOOBIES BOOBIES BOOBIES BOOBIES BOOBIES BOOBIES BOOBIES BOOBIES BOOBIES BOOBIES BOOBIES BOOBIES BOOBIES BOOBIES BOOBIES BOOBIES BOOBIES BOOBIES. WOW, LOOK AT THEM KNOCKERS!"

"Hey big boy…why don't you come over here and play with them?"

"Yeah." Sesshomaru says a little ways away talking into a walkie talkie with a button. "Yeah, Why don't you come jump my bones?"

The girl says. "Yeah, Why don't you come jump my bones?"

Miroku's eyes get huge! Runs toward here and falls into a trap door on the ground.

"That'll be the last time you say anything bout my mama, bitch!" Sesshomaru yells out.

**Meanwhile Miroku drops to his uncertain Doom…**

"Ahhhhhhh OW!" He hits the bottom. Its really dark.. Looks around. "OH MY FUCKING GOD WHAT'S TOUCHING ME!"

"HeeHee." Someone laughs. And picks him up. And then puts him down.

"Ropes? What for…?" Miroku waits.

"LIGHTS, CAMERA, ACTION!" Some one yells.

The lights turn on with Miroku tied to a post and a whole bunch of Ogres. The sign says: WELCUM 2 OGRE'S ASSMARKET.

"Heehee over 2 billion served." Ogre laughs. "Ladies and Gentleogres. WELCOME TO THE OGRE'S ASS MARKET!"

"Mmm she's cute." Says the Red Ogre.

"I AM NOT A GIRL GOD DAMMIT!" Yells Miroku. "I am 100 authentic monk beef."

"Give me a piece of the sweet beefy goodness." Says a pink Ogre.

"DAMMIT ALL TO HELL!" Miroku is very angry.

"Heehee sugarpants I get to auction you off now." Ogre winks.

"DAMMIT!"

"Bidding starts at 5 gold pieces." Ogre says.

"HEY I'M WORTH MORE THAN THAT, ASSHOLES!" Miroku yells.

"Hey I got an idea." Says a blue Ogre. "If everybody gives 10 gold pieces can we all ram his ass?"

"Heehee okay baby sounds good to me." Ogre giggles.

"NOO!NOO!NO! NOOOOOOOOOOO!" Miroku screams.

**After many hours of naughty, naughty lovin we finally arrive at our vote off.**

"Hello folks…I stand here before you from the night time view of Ogre's Ass Market to bring you tonight's vote off." Jeff says.

_I hate this damn game, I truly do. _Miroku thinks.

"Tonight's vote will be unique in the fact that whoever wins immunity will be able to cast out the Survivor of their choice." Jeff says.

"Ogre if I win kiss your ass goodbye." Miroku yells.

"What the fuck?" Jeff's cell phone is ringing. "Hello?"

"Hello there I'm gonna come get you Probst. And when I do…I"LL BE THE TOUGHEST BADASS YOU'VE EVER SEEN!" Sesshomaru says on the other side.

"Sesshomaru you couldn't be a badass if both your buttcheeks committed murder." Says Jeff. Everyone laughs.

"DAMN YOU" Click.

"Anyhow on with the vote." Jeff says.

"Hehe sup Jeffy." Says Ogre just walking in. Everyone starts to look sick.

"Uhh…I…don't…feel...so good." Onigumo says.

Everyone runs away puking except for Inuyasha.

"Well I'll be damned…wait a minute…didn't those guys all bang Sango?" Inuyasha asks.

"Yep. I was just the camera man." Jeff says.

"Ha ha drugs are bad." Inuyasha laughs.

"Well Inuyasha since you're the only one not sick you win. So who do you want to vote out?" Jeff Asks.

"Sango. GET YOUR DRUG NASTY ASS OUTTA HERE!" Inuyasha yells.

"Well the tribe has spoken when you've had your body flushed from the poison you can take your ass outta here."

"See you at the market Hehe!" Ogre says.

Kazer Dragon: I'm even sick after that. Sorry its late I wasn't home Sunday to post it. I wonder what will happen next week…


	10. Episode 10

Kazer Dragon: Yeah I'm behind this week. So expect 3+ chapters for my other fan fictions. Anywho its time to continue…remember to review and tell people about this fan fiction you hear? Who is trying to kill Onigumo? WHY IS OGRE SO GODDAMN SCARY? WHY AM I ODD!

**INUYASHA MEETS SURVIVOR!**

The survivors are all standing around camp.

"So…" Inuyasha starts. "Yeah. How about that tribal council?"

"Miroku." Ogre drools.

"OH MY FUCKING GOD YOU BASTARD!" Miroku yells.

"I want a hot demon." Kagome says.

"You go girl." Inuyasha says.

"Inuyasha." Ogre drools.

"Haha Inuyasha sucks!" Miroku points and laughs. Looks around. "Say where's lesbian magazine?"

"What smells like tuna?" Asks Kagome.

"Heehee big whale." Shippo laughs.

"Say anyone up for strip scrabble?" Ogre asks.

Shows the title screen with the Survivor logo.

Inuyasha walks into Sesshomaru. Pulls out his sword. Jumps into the air. Sesshomaru moves to the left. Then jumps out of the way when Inuyasha slams down. Inuyasha traps Sesshomaru in a corner. Inuyasha charges but Sesshomaru grabs the sword and sends Inuyasha flying. Inuyasha crashes on the ground. Gets up, and charges at Sesshomaru. Sesshomaru teleports. Inuyasha looks around. Sesshomaru reappears behind him and kicks him in the nuts.

"BEEYOTCH!" Sesshomaru yells. He walks off. "I bet you thought Inuyasha was going to win again, huh."

"Since when can Sesshomaru so THAT?" Inuyasha asks lying on the ground in searing pain. "Priestess…" A priestess walks over to him. Inuyasha has hearts over his head. Kicks him and send him flying.

"That is NOT what my thermometer is for!" She yells after him.

Kouga, Shippo and Onigumo are walking through the forest.

"Are you sure there's treasure this way?" Asks Onigumo.

"I'm positive. I'm sure it's filled with goodies." Response Kouga.

"Goodies eh?" Asks Shippo.

They continue to walk and find a treasure chest.

"There it is!" Says Onigumo.

"Kouga was right!" Shippo calls out.

"And now, for the treasure within…" Walks up and opens the box.

"MONSTERS IN A BOX!" The box mechanical says.

"DAMMIT!" Kouga yells.

"Some goodies." Shippo sarcastically says.

"Bite me Shippo." Kouga threatens. "They can't be that strong. The box is tiny."

"Little Imp." The box mechanically says. A little imp pops out.

"See? What'd I tell you?" Kouga says proudly.

"Turtles of doom." Two giant turtles come out and face Kouga and Onigumo.

"DAMMIT!" Kouga yells.

"Well since you two are talking turtles. I guess I'll take care of Impy here." Shippo walks up and uses fox fire to kill it. "Well, I'm done. Later guys." Shippo walks off.

"OH MY FUCKING GOD. What a bastard." Onigumo says.

"DAMMIT!" Kouga yells.

"Stop saying dammit, dammit!" Onigumo yells. "DAMMIT, Dammit, you've got me saying dammit now, dammit!"

Silence.

"Humans are weird." Turtle of doom 1 says.

"Agreed lets go home." Turtle of doom 2 says.

They leave.

"DAMMIT!" Kouga yells again.

Kagome and Ogre are checking the mailbox.

"Open up our island mail Ogre." Kagome says. Silence. "Ogre? You should hurry or we'll miss the challenge."

Ogre thinks of Miroku saying. _Ogre c'mon…Hurry…You know I like it fast big boy…_

"YES MIROKU YES….!" Ogre yells out.

"…How about I open up the mail, hmm?" Kagome says and reads. "I bet you're hungry heehee there are lots of snacks here. Cum get sum! Luv Jeff. Looks like we're gonna get food! Let's go tell everyone." Kagome runs off.

Ogre starts humping the mailbox. "AHHHHH YOU'RE NOT MIROKU! I'm A WHORE! AAHHHH" Runs off.

"Ewww…" Says the mailbox.

**At the reward challenge.**

"Welcome to your reward challenge, Megazongas." Jeff says. "To start, I'm giving each of you 500 island-bucks."

"What the hell is an island buck?" Asks Miroku.

"A island buck is island money." Jeff says.

"Oh goody. Now I can go to one of the island's many NON-EXISTANT STORES." Miroku says sarcastically.

"Shut the fuck up. We're having an auction for food."

**This challenge is brought to you by… Mc Donald's.**

"What the fuck! No its not." Says Jeff.

**Uhhh… how about Target?**

"NO! NO!" Jeff yells.

**It's Pizza Hut then, you can't deny it.**

"NO, DAMN YOU!" Jeff yells at Leanne.

**Fine.**

"ANYWAY…you all now have your island bucks, so let's start the auction. The first item up for grabs is this juicy hamburger! Who'll give me 50 bucks?" Jeff says.

"50!" Kouga.

"100" Miroku.

"150" Shippo.

"Hmmm, 200" Kouga.

"Sold for $200 to Kouga." Jeff says. Kouga now has $300 island bucks. "You guys can get your food after we're through, Next up is this tasty salad. Who'll give me $100?"

"Health food? Ha nice try Probst I don't think any of us are stupid enough to waste…" Miroku is cut off.

"$100!" Kagome.

"Well I guess Kagome is…" Miroku sighs.

"Sold to Kagome for $100!" Jeff says. Kagome has $400. "Next up is this wedge of cheese! Who'll give me $100!"

"CHEESE! 100!" Shippo yells.

_Heehee I'll keep him going for it. _Miroku thinks. "150"

"Damn you $200!" Shippo.

"Sold to Shippo for $200!" Says Jeff. Shippo has $300. "Next up is a secret surprise! Who'll give me $100?"

"I'll take the risk 100" Onigumo.

"Heh its probably something like goats piss." Inuyasha laughs.

"GOAT PISS! 150!" Ogre yells.

"Sorry Ogre your not getting this one. 200"Onigumo.

"This muffin is sold to Onigumo for $200." Onigumo has $300. "Next up is a fruit smoothie. $100 anyone?"

"Heehee, fruity like me $100" Shippo.

"That'll go good with my salad. $150." Kagome.

"Sold to Kagome for 150." Kagome has $250. "Next up a wiener. $50 anyone?" Jeff asks.

"500!" Yells Ogre and runs over and takes it.

"Okay…sold to Ogre for $500." Ogre is out.

**Much later.**

Inuyasha has $500, Onigumo $300 and Kagome at $250.

"We only have three items remaining. Next up is another mystery item!" Jeff announces.

"I'm convinced this is the one. 500!" Inuyasha runs up to the box. The box opens and and Ogre grabs him into the box. "NNNOOOOOO!" The box closes and rolls away.

"Okay next up we have some beer." Jeff says.

"250!" Kagome.

"Sold to Kagome. Well Onigumo you get the last item by default. And you win a brand new computer!" Jeff says.

"SWEET!" Yells Onigumo.

"Damn that all comes out of my salary…" Jeff complains.

**Back at camp.**

"That's a sweet computer Onigumo." Kouga says. "Start it up."

Kouga presses some buttons.

"Hello. Please insert username." The computer says.

"My name is Onigumo."

"Processing request. Please wait…" The computer says. "Fatal error occurred in sector 5628A. Running destruction program now. Onigumo Onigumo Onigumo Onigumo Onigumo Onigumo. MY name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die"

"Um…Kouga?" Onigumo pleads.

Kouga runs away.

Onigumo runs away.

"I'm going to kill you now." The computer says chasing him.

Inuyasha is walking in the forest. The Priestess and Sesshomaru walk up behind him.

"Excuse me." The Priestess says.

"Uhh yes…" Inuyasha turns around.

"This man claims that you've been 'owning' him. Incessantly. I don't like bullies." The priestess says.

"And what's a GIRL like you going to do about it?" Inuyasha says. Thinks for a minute. "I mean…uh… nice weather isn't it?" The priestess pulls out a hammer and sends Inuyasha into a big pool of water with Ogre in it.

"Hey hunny glad to see you," Ogre winks.

"AAAHHHHH." Inuyasha screams trying to swim away but can't. "Why can't I move!"

"Welcum to Ogre's cauldron of love baby." Ogre says sexy.

"AHHHH LET ME OUT!" Inuyasha screams then thinks.

"Don't think you can escape, my precious beefpuppet." Ogre says.

Inuyasha tries to jump out and starts to rise up.

"Come get him BITCH POSSE!" Ogre yells.

Inuyasha lands out of it. "HAHA I'm free." A whole lot of female demons grab him.

"You might escape from Ogre but you can't hide from Ogre's Bitch Posse."

**Later after Inuyasha's escape from Ogre's Bitch Posse.**

"Welcome to your immunity challenge Megazongas." Jeff greets. "Today's challenge will be a battle to the death. Tournament style. You will fight each other to win immunity when you're ready, we'll begin"

First round: Miroku vs Ogre. Inuyasha vs Kouga. Onigumo vs Computer. Kagome vs Shippo.

Miroku and Ogre are facing off.

"Heehee hi Miroku." Ogre winks.

"WHY GOD WHY!" Miroku yells.

**Because you're a little bastard.**

Ogre grabs Miroku and carries him off.

Inuyasha and Kouga are facing off. Kouga kicks his sword away and Inuyasha jumps up. Kouga grabs Inuyasha's sword and stands under Inuyasha. He sends it through his body.

Onigumo and Computer now. Onigumo throws a imp at him then kicks through the screen.

Kagome and Shippo are just standing there.

Still standing.

A imp falls on Kagome.

Ogre vs Kouga. Onigumo vs Shippo. In the second round.

Ogre starts by chasing Kouga around. Kouga hides in a bush. The bush starts to make noise. Ogre runs behind the bush and into Inuyasha's blade Kouga took.

"BOOYAH!" Miroku cheers.

Ogre gets up and starts chasing Miroku.

Shippo keeps jumping over Onigumo's head.

"What the fuck are you doing!" Yells Onigumo.

Shippo lands on his head. Onigumo grabs him and throws him then kicks him.

Final round. Kouga vs Onigumo.

Onigumo kicks Kouga and lands into Ogre.

"Hey hunny nice running into ya." Ogre says.

"NO…NOOOOO" Onigumo cries.

"Oh yes yes baby." Ogre takes him off.

**Kagome** - **Megazongas**

"Damn I could've used that immunity." Kagome says drinking her beer. "Oh well I'll just drown my sorrows in this beer." Drinks some more. "Ahhh…uhh what the fuck?" Kagome sees a finger.

"Hi Kagome." Says the finger.

"Who are you?" Asks Kagome.

"You don't remember me? I'm your finger. Your first love. Rejoin me Kaogme." The finger says.

"KAGOME NO!" Yells Sesshomaru. "You don't need him!"

"Damn you demon!" Yells the finger. "TSTW, Attack."

"What is a TSTW?" Asks Sesshomaru.

"Hey baby?" Says a sexy girl. "I'm the sexy toroian whore! You can call me TSTW, though big papa. Hey…why don't we play three bears? You be the toaster AND I'LL BLOW THE HELL OUTTA YOU!"

"Umm What the fuck?" Sesshomaru says.

"No effect! Oh well Squeezer stack." TSTW calls. She puts his head between her boobs.

"Ahhh powerful boobs cutting off air tunnels…breathing ceasing…but pleasure rising…" Sesshomaru stops breathing.

"SESSHOMARU!" Kagome calls.

"HAHA SQUEEZE!" TSTW yells.

"Argh…" Sesshomaru falls down dead.

"NO!" Kagome snaps out of it. "Phew It was only a drunken hallucination. Thank goodness Sesshomaru isn't REALLY dead."

"That's right bitches. HAHAHHAHAH!" Sesshomaru laughs alittle ways from Kagome.

"Heehee Demons make me wanna get jiggy with it." Ogre calls out.

**That night, at Tribal council.**

"Welcome again to tribal council survivors!" Jeff says. "You all know the drill. If you don't I swear… you're all DEAD. Kagome do you feel vulnerable tonight?"

"Yes Jeff. That immunity would've really helped." Kagome replies.

"Fair enough. Ogre, do you feel like there's a lot of relaxation at camp?" Jeff asks.

Ogre thinks of Miroku saying. _Ohh Ogre come sit next to papa Miroku and relax a bit…_

"I'm COMING MY YUMMY LITTLE MONK BEEFQUISHE!" Ogre yells.

"OH MY FUCKING GOD OGRE! You are so going down. You. Are. Going. Down!" Miroku yells.

"Preferably on you baby." Ogre winks.

"I'm going to be sick…" Miroku says looking green.

"Time to vote you up Kagome." Jeff says.

**After the votes.**

"First vote is for Ogre, second Ogre, third Onigumo, fourth Onigumo, fifth Ogre, sixth Onigumo, the last vote is for Onigumo.

**Six remain who will be kicked off next week?**

Kazer Dragon: Well now that was different eh? I'm Canadian I'm allowed to say it. So BITE ME! Really do, I'd like it…aaaahhhhh I'm thinking like Ogre now…


	11. Episode 11

Kazer Dragon: … I started a fourm. Add anything ya want k?

**INUYASHA MEETS SURVIVOR!**

Kouga is walking on a beach. And he runs into a big box.

"What the hell is that?" He walks up to it. Opens it. "AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

Sesshomaru comes out riding a demon that crushed Kouga. "Wow that was a long scream. Come my fellow demons lets go kick some half demon ass! FOR REVENGE!"

"REVENGE!" The demons yell and go running. "Wait wasn't this for gays?" Asks a demon running after them.

"C…candy bars?" Kouga cries.

Shows the title screen with the Survivor logo.

Starring: Inuyasha, Kouga, Miroku, Kagome, Ogre, Shippo.

Sesshomaru is having a pep talk with his demon army.

"Today is the day I lead you to victory!" Sesshomaru yells.

BOOOM! A whole bunch of canon balls kill all the soldiers but one.

"Well who didn't see that coming?" says the demon soldier.

"I sure as hell did." Says Miroku on the back of a dragon with a bazooka cannon ball gun.

"Take this yah bastards!" Kouga throws a giant candy bar.

WACK! Kills the only solider alive.

"…bastar…my neck…" Sesshomaru dies.

**Sesshomaru's death count 16.**

"Hopefully he'll stay dead this time." Miroku says.

"Yeah" Kouga agrees.

"Let's just finish this damn intro, and get on with this weeks episode its already late." Miroku says.

**This week's episode brought to you by: Dojobemyba candy bar. When you want a treat with a name no one what the hell is means reach for a Dojobemyba candy bar.**

"Today is the day we have our revenge!" Yells Sesshomaru on a dragon with all the kicked off castaways. They are: Onigumo, Totsai, Kaede, Sango, Kanna, Naraku, Kikyo, Jaken and Kagura. Plus the demon army. "We've been pushed around enough. NOW IS THE TIME TO ATTACK! GO DOG DEMON ARMY! AND LEAD US TO VICTORY!"

They throw a rope down and a demon climbs down…but when he reaches the end of the rope he's still 50 feet in the air and screams AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH while he plummets to his death.

"Dammit! Lets go everyone!" Sesshomaru calls.

They all jump down to the SURVIVOR castle where Jeff stays while hosting survivor.

Onigumo kills two guards.

"What the hell do you want?" Jeff says walking up to them. He's wearing a cowboy hat today.

"THIS, you cowboy hat wearing bastard!" Sesshomaru stabs him with a lance. "LETS GO!" They climb back on the rope.

"Heehee." Ogre takes a dead guard.

**Meanwhile at camp…**

Shippo, Kouga and Ogre are on a beach dancing to: I'm a survivor. They are not just dancing but break dancing. Miroku comes walking in.

"C'mon its time to go." Miroku announces. "Err guys?" They keep dancing. "…"

**Reward Challenge time.**

"Welcome back, my little sexmuffins 3" Says TSTW.

"Where's Jeff?" Asks Kouga.

"Like he got killed by a flaming demon. 3" TSTW winks. "Anyway, so today you'll like, be playing for me! To win a hot night of lovin' you must play demon ball." They all grab up a bat. "Survivors ready? GO!"

Kagome runs and all the other stand there and get crushed by a huge demon.

"mmm…squishies." Says the huge demon.

Kagome hits the demon away with her bat.

"KAGOME WIN!" TSTW announces. "Lets go hunny. 3" They both run off.

"I wanted to get laid…" Miroku cries.

Sesshomaru and his demon army are lined up on a beach.

"Dude this so sucks." Says demon one.

"If I didn't have student loans I'd so be outta here." Demon two says.

"Student loans what school did you go to?" Asks Demon one.

"Killer blaster year 465. I was top of my class." Says Demon two.

Inuyasha is riding a huge demon with the Pikachu chain saw army and Ogre with a helmet over his head.

"What the fuck. And army of demons." Inuyasha says confused.

"One question Inuyasha baby. Will he know it's his sweet Ogre lovebitch?" Ogre asks.

"Nope. How could he tell?" Inuyasha says. "Alright Pikachus Thunderbolt!"

The Pikachu's line up.

"K time to go." Says demon two.

All the demons run over to Inuyasha.

"What is this? This is what Sesshomaru is trying to kill me with?" Inuyasha yells.

The other kicked off castaways are on the dragon with a huge bomb. They drop it.

"…crap." Inuyasha says.

**BOOM!**

"Who says demons can't be badass." Sesshomaru says a safe distance from the bomb.

**Back at camp we join the group in their next Immunity.**

Kagome, Shippo, Kouga and Miroku are at the challenge.

"Welcome back survivors." Says Jeff. "Thankfully CBS still has Medicare on my contract so I'm still alive. Anyway today's challenge is a game of Bomberman!" Inuyasha shows up carrying Ogre. "Now move to the arena."

They are in an area that looks like bomberman board.

"SURVIVORS READY? GO!" Jeff yells.

Bombs start flying. Kagome gets caught between too. KABOOM! She's out. Inuyasha and Kouga throw a bomb at each other and knock each other out. Ogre farts and Shippo is killed.

"OH HELL NO! I'M NOT GETTING DESTROYED BY OGRES ANAL FOREST!" Miroku Runs away.

"Ogre just want love…" Picks up Shippo and runs away.

**Back at camp… **

**Miroku-**

"I can't believe this is happening. Every time I try to vote out Ogre…it doesn't work! But this time, I've talked to everyone about this. Ogres gone for good."

**Tribal council.**

"Welcome again survivors. Now is the time I asks questions. Miroku remember those dumbasses who don't review?" Jeff asks.

"You bet! I'd tell them to quit being dumbasses and review for a change." Miroku says.

"Fair enough. Enough talking about idiots. Time to vote….AHHHHHH" Jeff gets run over by Sesshomaru riding a giant demon.

"OGRE WHAT ARE YOU DOING!" Yells Sesshomaru.

"Shippo." Ogre says.

Shippo giggles.

"Y-your standing right next to him? WHY!" He yells. " I can't believe you! How could you! Don't you remember our song? I'll sing it for you…" Sesshomaru gets out his harp and starts to sing a bunch orgasm noises. "SHIPPO THE TRIBE AS SPOKEN."

"What the fuck?" Shippo says.

"GET LOST!" Sesshomaru screams.

Shippo cries and runs away.

**Back at camp.**

"Hehe so Sesshomaru killed 50 men. Half of that was me. 100 men with his own harp. Cut thur them like roses thru da red sea." Ogre laughs talking with Jeff.

Sesshomaru is walking and… WOOO WOO a train runs over him sending him flying.

**Sesshomaru's death count 17.**

**That was weird eh?**

**This is the end.**

**GO home.**

Kazer Dragon: Finally. This one is done. I got some crazy stuff for Christmas. I mean really make sure to check it out! I'm starting it today. Prob be done Tuesday. So go read my other fan fictions.

**NOW REVIEW**

**AND THEN GO HOME!**


	12. Episode 12

**Letters to Reviewers:**

**Ogre**

Hey babez, its ur honeyluv Ogre now as u kno ive been waitin' a long time for Miroku to finally cum around if ya know what I mean, I mean come on I'm just all up on his luvtwinkie an' I think he's finally braykin down! Anyhow wish me luck cause I want his fire rod so bad heehee well let u go to read the fan fiction bye bye!

**Miroku**

GOD DAMMIT I HATE THAT ASSHOLE OGRE. HE KEEPS TRYING TO GET IN MY PANTS AND I JUST WANT HIM TO GO TAKE A SPOON AND EAT SESSHOMARU'S ASS. DAMN. Well, I think I'm gonna go try and get me some hot priestess poon in this episode…it's about damn time. Later on.

**Sesshomaru**

**DEAR GOD WHT MUST I ALWAYS DIE!**

**INUYASHA MEETS SURVIVOR!**

"Yeah so." Miroku says talking in this circle of priestesses. "That was how I killed 8 huge demons with my bare hands. Sure I was scared but then again…I knew I had to do it for the priestesses. "

"AWWW." HOW SWEET!" The priestesses say.

_YES I AM SO LAID!_ Miroku thinks. "Now ladies…if I can kill 8 demons with my bare hands, imagine how big my penis is."

"OH MY FUCKING GOD I WANNA RIDE YOUR DEEP SEA LOBSTER!" Yells out one of the priestesses.

"Psst hey Marsha think he'd be interested in a threesome?" Asks a priestess.

"Hehe ya probably." Says Marsha.

_OH MY GOD THEY WANNA RIDE ME LIKE SESSHOMARU ON TIMBERLAKE!_ Miroku thinks.

BEEEEEEEP! "NO GOD DAMMIT NO!" Miroku screams.

**At camp.**

"Hehe morning sweetness!" Ogre says looking down at Miroku.

"I HAD A DREAM OF TWENTY DAMN PRIESTESSES VIRGINS WANTING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME AND YOU COME AND RUIN IT! GOD DAMN YOU YOU SWEDISH YANK SPANKER!" Miroku screams.

"He he I didn't know you were Swedish." Ogre says.

Shows the title screen with the Survivor logo.

**Episode 12: Morte d' Sesshomaru,**

Zemus is in his graveyard. "Say, has anyone seen my piano?"

Sesshomaru is standing in a field by the Survivor castle.

PIANO CRASHING SOUNDS! "AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" Sesshomaru gets crushed by it.

**Sesshomaru's death count 17.**

"Thanks Tony the tiger I would have never been able to get that piano up here by myself!" Says Inuyasha, him Tony and Miroku are on top of the castle.

"No problem my half demon ghetto bitch." Tony says.

"HAHA YOUR TONY'S BITCH!" Miroku laughs.

"SHUT UP BEFORE I GO MARSHA BRADY ON YOUR ASS!" Inuyasha yells.

"QUIET CALLGIRL" Miroku calls.

"WHAT THE FUCK!" Inuyasha screams.

**After Inuyasha recovers from bitchdom, Miroku after 11 episodes of being harassed by Ogre, finally decides to get the hell away from him with one final attempt at freedom…colonizing outer space…**

Miroku is standing next to a space shuttle. "I will be DAMNED if I ever have to get it up the ass again…SO by using this space ship I shall fly FAR FAR AWAY FROM THAT ASSHOLE OGRE AND LIVE IN ANAL FREEDOM FOREVER!" Inuyasha walks up to him. "Hey, check it out. Here comes General Mills!" Miroku calls.

"GOD DAMMIT I AM NO CEREAL BOX CHARATER'S WHORE YOU CANDY ASS!" Inuyasha yells.

Kouga appears on the space shuttle. "DID SOMEON SAY CANDY?"

Ogre walks up to Inuyasha. "I know what special li'l half demon said ass." Ogre starts humping and Inuyasha turns around hitting him away with his sword.

**In a shower.**

"Oh Sango…" Kagome yells.

"Oh Kagome…." Sango cries.

Ogre goes flying by.

**At Ogre's ass market.**

Jeff is tied up. "YOU WON'T GET AWAY WITH ASSHOLES!" Jeff screams.

"Hee hee nice catch…" Ogre says flying by.

"Why thank you." Says the auctioneer.

**Sesshomaru is back alive in the field.**

"HA I'm STILL!" Ogre hits him in the head and bounces off still flying.

**Sesshomaru's death count 18.**

**Back at the space shuttle area.**

"Well General Mills now it looks like you're Ogre's bitch too!" Miroku says.

Ogre falls right into Miroku.

"Well hello there fuzzmittens." Ogre sexily says. "Hehe I tale it u like the bottem."

"DAMMMIT!" Miroku screams.

"I think it's high time THAT DADDY KOUGA GOT HIS GROOVE THANG ON!" Starts dancing to Kung foo fighting.

"Time I kick some demon ass." Inuyasha kicks Kouga sending him flying to knock Ogre away as well.

"INUYAHSA I STILL LOVE YOU IN THE MOST NON SEXUAL WAY POSSIBLE!" Miroku cries.

**Heehee if I had a nickel for every time I herd that one…**

"Inuyasha, I must now journey to a land where my asshole can run free from ogretastic intrusion, a place where my anus can enjoy the serenity of a tranquil, lusterous world of antiogre, a world where I can lean against a pole and not have all this GOD DAMN WHITE STUFF ALL OVER IT!" Miroku says.

"Miroku, good luck on your asstastic liberation. May the Pootang be with you." Inuyasha waves.

"Thanks, Inuyasha I almost forgot…" Miroku throws some carrots.

**Sesshomaru is alive again.**

Carrots hit Sesshomaru.

"DAMMIT…what the hell carrots?" Sesshomaru picks them up. He looks around. "Alright something's fishy…" A huge bird lands on him.

BAM.

"Biggest cock I ever saw hee hee." Ogre appears laughing.

**Sesshomaru's death count 19.**

Sesshomaru souls floats up. "HEY ASSHOLE I'M GOING TO STAY DEAD THIS TIME! YOU CAN NEVER KILL ME AGAIN HAHAHHHAAHAH"

Back at the spaceship.

Miroku has a button. "THAT'S WHAT YOU THINK BITCH!" Pushes it.

**Back with Sesshomaru's soul.**

"DEAR JESUS… OH SHIT! THE SOUL TRAIN! AHHHHHHHHHHHH…." The soul train runs over his soul sending it flying.

**Sesshomaru's death count 20.**

"OH yeah! Someone just got owned by my 1970's can of whoopass!" Miroku cheers. "Later my bitchin' half demon bad ass." Miroku runs onto the space ship. "Later dudes, I'm outta here."

"What…just…what the hell…" Inuyasha says confused.

**And so Miroku groovetastically goes to outerspace, in search of the anal liberation he's always dreamed of…**

Miroku is sitting in a chair inside the spaceship looking at the screen.

"Dude this spaceship kicks Sango-slut-ass!" Miroku cheers. "It's even got a 60" plasma TV! I gotta turn this bitch on!" turns on the TV.

On the TV: Ogre's LUV SHAQ!

"Hi everybody!" Greets Ogre. "My name is Ogre and this is my luv shaq."

"Hey it me Shaq." Says a picture of Shaq.

"OH MY FUCKING GOD YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!" Miroku screams.

"Well babycakes time for my favourite part of the show…" Ogre continues to say. "The part where I talk bout all the naughty things I wanna do to Miroku."

"Ya wit Miroku itz not about da three point shot itz bout da money shot hehe." Shaq picture giggles.

"Right on my li'l center snatch nunpuff." Ogre licks his lips.

"I WILL FREE-THROW YOUR ASS OFF A CLIFF BITCH!" Miroku screams at the TV.

"Well whaddya say we sho them our pics." Ogre says as a screen comes down.

CLAP CLAP CLAP. The Audience claps.

"HOLY SHIT HOW CAN YOU PEOPLE CLAP FOR THAT!" Miroku yells.

"Wait." Ogre says, "We need some music on dis bitch. This first pic is of me Shaq and da boys." Ogre says as the music comes on.

Show a picture of Shaq with a ball but Ogre is on the ball.

"Ya notice how they tried to get sum sweet Ogre meat but I was just like NUH UH BITCH!" Shaq says.

"Ya there'z only so much meat I can handle hehe. This next pic is of us right after the threesome….

**Sesshomaru is standing in a forest.**

"WHOA HOLD ON THERE BITCH! WAIT A DAMN MINUTE! WHY DID THE TV SHOW STOP AND RANDOMLY SWITCH TO ME IN A FOREST. ….I AM NOT DYING AGAIN YOU GOD DAMN SONS OF BITCHES!" Sesshomaru screams.

"DAMN WILL YOU JUST SHUT UP!" Miroku yells from his space ship and pushes a button on a remote.

A huge axe appears above Sesshomaru. "OH. SHIT!" Slices him in half.

"PIKA PIKA!" The Pikachu's with chainsaws appear all around him.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH." Sesshomaru screams.

"Hell yes bitch," Miroku laughs evilly.

**Sesshomaru's death count 21.**

"Well everybody thatz all the time we got for ya. For my luvpoodle shaq, this is Ogre sain nighties." Ogre waves.

OGRE'S LUV SHAQ! Taped live on Miroku's spaceship.

"WHOA WHOA WHOA…LIVE ON MY SPACESHIP!" Miroku yells. "AWE HELL NAW!"

**Some demons are in a castle watching TV…**

"10 bucks says Miroku runs out of fuel and crashes." Says Demon one.

"20 bucks says Miroku gets da buttlove from Ogre." Says Demon two.

"…SICKASS!" Demon one yells.

**Back on the space ship…**

On the Screen it says. "YOU ARE OUT OF FUEL. Initiating crash sequence. (AKA kiss you ass goodbye).

"AWE GOD DAMMIT!" Miroku Screams.

**Back with the demons.**

"Pay up bitch!" Demon says pointing at demon two.

Shaq and Ogre take Demon one.

"HAHA NOW WUT BITCH!" Demon two cheers.

**So after demon one…lets say his name is Rubicant. Any way after Rubicant is bitchnapped by Shaq and Ogre, we journey to the aftermath of Miroku's shuttle crash hoping that he can be sparred from the hells of Inuyasha meets Survivor just this once…**

Miroku falls on a island in the middle of nowhere.

THUD!

"…OWWW!" Miroku screams in pain. "Dear Jesus…All I ever wanted was some non-toxic poon and a burrito…is that too much for me to ask? Honestly, is it? It's all….it's all I've ever wanted…." Miroku dreams of a Burrito and a hot babe.

THUD!

Ogre falls on top of Miroku.

"WHY GOD WHY!" Miroku screams as something worse than death.

"He hee Well Gilligan. I think its time you met da skipper." Ogre says smiling.

"WHY DOES GOD HATE ME!" Miroku screams.

**Day two on Ytinigriv Lana ym Gnisol Island…**

Miroku is standing on top of a coconut tree the only one on the island.

"PLEASE!" Ogre begs.

"NO!" Miroku yells.

"K" Ogre pulls out a ladder behind the tree.

"You've got to be fuggin' kidding me." Miroku says while Ogre climbs up the tree. "Ogre, I've waited forever for this moment…" Miroku says sexy like.

"Oh me too baby me too heheheheeh." Ogre comes closer.

"…DIE BITCH!" Miroku screams.

**MORTAL ISLAND COMBAT TIME!**

"You soul is mine…" Miroku glows purple. "WUT NOW BITCH!"

"Hey baby…" Ogre says looking at the Mortal Combat Dragon sign.

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU LOOKIN AT YOU SON OF A BITCH!" Yells the dragon sign.

"Your extremely long and pleasureful tongue." Ogre drools.

"What the fuck…" The dragon sign says.

A picture of Rumiko Takahashi, Creator of Inuyasha comes on the screen.

"SHIT!" Miroku says.

"Miroku what da hell you doing? I drew you for Inuyasha only…and you go off and pull crazy shit! Next time you pull crazy shit…I draw you with no wang chung! You understand me!" Rumiko Takahashi says.

"…yes ma'am. Wait…WAIT….YOU CAN BLOW MY ASS WHAT ABOUT OGRE!" Miroku yells.

"Ogre?" Rumiko Takahashi says.

"Yes my little hironoboner?" Ogre says.

"YOU KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK. YOU BEST INUYASHA CHARACTER EVER!" Rumiko Takahashi says before disappearing with the mortal combat stuff.

"Why thank you sakakootchie." Ogre waves.

"BULLSHITTTTT! BULLSHIT!" Miroku keeps yelling.

"Hehe you like it Miroku you like it." Ogre says.

Sesshomaru in a boat comes by.

"OH I SO GOT THIS ONE!" Miroku pushes a button.

The Jurassic Park Tyrannosaurs eats Sesshomaru.

**Sesshomaru's death count 22! **

"Whoa!" Miroku says.

Rumiko Takahashi comes back.

"Sweet like Japnesse chicken! TO T-Dawg you want go for nachos?" Rumiko Takahashi says.

"W0RD!" Tyrannsuars says coming back.

"HAW KICKASS LATER MAH NIZZLETS!" They both leave.

"YOU SON OF A BITCH! COME BACK HERE I WANT SOME NACHOS!" Miroku yells after Rumiko Takahashi.

"Heehee I like it macho too!" Ogre says.

Miroku swears uncontrollably.

"Hey Miroku be right back I gotta go visit a special someone…" Ogre looks right at the camera. "Well hello there Sugarpanties…. If you still want sum of dis sweetness hit me up at: 1-900-BIG-O-GRE. Then you can really hit me up if you kno wut I mean now dontcha? Hehe. Well I gotta go do dis show thing I'll be seeing ya later bye bye hunni luv ya!"

**After Miroku endures more of the hell which is Inuyasha meets Survivor, we finally arrive at the coveted vote off.**

"YOU DUMBASS, WE"RE SUPPOSE TO DO THE IMMUNITY CHALLENGE FIRST!" Jeff screams.

**Oh so I guess it's immunity time cause Jeff thinks he's such a badass oooooooo look at me I'm the Survivor Information bolded word cause the writer doesn't feel like hiring a narrator. Look at me I'm shaking in my boots. Please don't hurt me you fudge-craving Demon-listing lameass excuse for a game show host! Hey Jeff your mom came over last night, she was better than usual so I gave her an extra dollar…**

"What the…How can you have sex? You're just a bunch of bolded words? Look I need to go beat some cocky bolded words ass." Jeff gets a huge sword. "Time to introduce a certain someone to BITCHHOOD!" Jeff runs off. You hear screams and Jeff comes back with the Bolded words all covered in Blood. "YOU DON'T MESS WIT DA PROBST!"

Inuyasha and Miroku are on a dragon.

"Ten bucks dude." Miroku says to Inuyasha.

"Your on." Inuyasha says.

"Finally we can get to the IMMUNITY CHALLENGE!" Jeff chants. "Challengers, I summon thee!"

Inuyasha, Kagome. Kouga Miroku with Ogre on top of him appear.

"That was sweet devil magic Jeff…" Kagome says.

"AWE DAMMIT!" Miroku screams and kicks Ogre off.

"Hey Miroku you over there with Ogre for any special reason?" Inuyasha winks.

"BLOW IT OFF INUYASHA!" Miroku yells.

"This immunity challenge is rather simple. Each of you will take turns hurling insults at each other, and I'll judge the amount of points each insult earns you based on cleverness, perversion, wittiness, etc. The first person to 25 points wins immunity. SURVIVORS….READY! Inuyasha your first." Jeff says.

"Alright…Hey Miroku you're such a cunt your nose bleeds once a month!" Inuyasha calls.

"ASSMONGREL!" Miroku calls back.

"10." Jeff says. Inuyasha has 10 points. "Kagome go."

"Hmmm…Hey Ogre yo mama's ass is so big. NASA wants it for the next shuttle landing!" Kagome says.

"Oh damm. 8 pts to Kagome. Kouga your go." Jeff says.

"Jeff you know if I would have had exact change, I could have been your dad." Kouga smiles.

"WHAT!" Jeff Screams.

"Ummm…Candy bars?" Kouga quietly says.

Jeff pushes a button and a huge Butterfinger crushes Kouga.

"WUT NOW! WUT NOW!" Jeff takes a deep breath. "Ogre your next."

"PASS!" Ogre yells.

"…..Miroku your up."

"INUYASHA YOU ARE A GOD DAMN GAYWAD!" Miroku yells.

"WHY YOU SHITHEAD!" Inuyasha yells back.

"Oh damn that's a 25 pointer…. Miroku wins. I declare you have immunity." Jeff says.

"I declare you sexy hehe." Ogre says.

"OH WUT NOW INUYASHA WUT NOW!" Miroku teases.

Inuyasha jumps over and punches him in the head.

"DON"T YOU EVER CALL ME A GAYWAD AGAIN!" Inuyasha yells.

"Well you know what time it is now…Kagome go and vote." Jeff says.

"uhhhh…" Kouga cries.

"QUIET BITCH!" Jeff pushes the button again.

"AHHHHHHHHHHH…" Kouga gets crushed again.

Inuyasha goes to vote, Runs over Kouga's body.

Ogre goes to votes. Jeff jumps on Kouga's body.

Miroku goes to vote.

"All the votes are in. (Excluding Kouga since he's dead he votes for himself cause I said so) Once the votes are read the decision in final. If anyone disagrees with me, I'll beat their ass. First vote Ogre, second to KOUGA CAUSE YOU'RE DEAD YOU LITTLE BITCH HAHAAHAHAH. Third to Inuyasha, Fourth Kagome, the last vote is Kouga, please remove your carcass ass from the island." Jeff says.

"CARCASS!" Ogre grabs it and leaves.

**Later…**

Ogre is driving a lawnmower.

"Somebody has to keep the lawn cut." Ogre says.

"Yeah…just like I did your mom last night OOOHHHH!" Shippo says coming out of nowhere.

"Oh u lil bitch hhehe." Ogre chases Shippo.

Miroku comes out of nowhere.

"Seriously, you all can just bite my ass…"

A whole bunch of demon appear and start to party.

"WHY GOD WHY!" Miroku cries.

Kazer Dragon: Sorry bout the lateness again. I hope it's so funny you forgive me and REVIEW! Please do!


	13. Episode 13

Kazer Dragon: For now expect one to two fan fictions a week cause it's all I can get done in a week. I know they are not long but no one reviews so if I get more reviews I'll post more.

**ONLY ONE MORE EPSIODE LEFT AFTER THIS ONE!**

**INUYASHA MEETS SURVIVOR!**

**Episode 13- Ogre's island!**

**In the past twelve episodes, twelve of the original sixteen castaways have been voted off. Now only four remain. Who will join the exiled in today's episode?**

"DEAR GOD LET IT BE ME!" Miroku screams.

The survivor theme song and title screen come on.

"Mmmm I just love this naughty tribal chanting…" Shippo drools.

"YOUR DROOLING ON MY FOOT!" Yells Miroku.

In a room far away, with a TV with Inuyasha meets survivor on it!

"Hey guys it on!" Yells Jeremy.

"This is my favourite show." Patrick says.

"I just can't get enough of Ogre." Marsha drools a bit.

"Me neither…" Dreams Jeremy.

Patrick is scared. "Okay it's starting. Let's watch."

**Back at the camp Kagome is wearing a cowboy hat.**

"We'ah back with anothah edition of demon huntah! Today, we'll be searching foh tha elusive Lillith." Kagome looks at the camera. "Cahm with me now as we search tha surrounding areah!" Kagome takes the cameraman into some bushes and they see a snake type demon with a girl body naked. "Theah she is! Ain't she a beaut! Croikey! Let's obsehve her. Be very quoiet!"

Ogre walks up to the demon and then walks behind.

"I do believe they're going ta embahk on a straynge ritual. Let's watch!" Kagome watches.

Ogre starts ramming her and then she starts ramming him.

Kagome's eyes are huge. "That's it for me folks. I need to go burn my eyes out."

"Mmm that's the money spot…" Ogre says pleasurably. "Oh yeah BABY BABY!"

Miroku walks in on them.

"Miroku! This isn't what it seems! She means nothing to me, I swear! Please come and give me a big hug of forgiveness." Ogre says.

"What the fuck…" Miroku says.

"Well if you won't come to me I'll have to come to you." Ogre says starting to case Miroku with the song: I'm gonna getcha (good) by Shania Twain.

"OH HELL NO THIS IS NOT HAPPENING!" Miroku runs.

"But it is, my tangy sexpuppet…here I cum…" Ogre gets closer.

Sesshomaru is in a field with a baby chicken.

"You're the only person I can trust Henny…"

WHACK! Sesshomaru gets run over by Miroku.

CHOMP! Ogre eats Henny.

"OH MY GOD LESBIANS!" Miroku yells when he sees Sango and Kagome making out.

Ogre chases him through a field.

Miroku thinks he lost him when running in the mountains but Ogre jumps out in front of him and Miroku turns around.

Ogre chases him over mountains.

Miroku is inside the Survivor castle.

"Huff….huff…" Miroku pants. "Think I lost him…" RING RING! "What the fuck…" RING RING. Miroku takes out his cell phone. "Uhh hello."

"Can you here me now heehee" Ogre says on the other line.

"GOD DAMN YOU OGRE!" Miroku throws the cell phone away and walks away.

"mmmm I must have that ass…" Ogre says hanging from the ceiling.

**REWARD CHALLENGE!**

The survivors are sitting in pods that go up and down.

"Welcome to the reward challenge survivors." Jeff greets. "Today is a trivia challenge. You'll be asked questions about former tribe mates. Answer a question right and move up, but get it wrong and you return to the start. The first one to answer four questions correctly wins time online on a computer where they can chat with their family! Here's your first question: What colour are Sango panties?"

Ogre, Miroku and Kagome write Green. Inuyasha picks Purple.

"Ogre, Miroku and Kagome are correct." Jeff says as they move up. "Second question: What is Kouga obsessed with?"

Ogre, Miroku and Inuyasha pick candy bars. While Kagome picks Onigumo.

"WHAT THE FUCK I DON"T LOVE ONIGUMO!" Kouga yells from a bed. While Shippo and Naraku enter it. Kouga smiles.

"Ogre, Miroku and Inuyasha are correct, Kagome goes back to the start." Kagome goes back to zero. "Next question: Has Onigumo ever won immunity?"

Ogre, Miroku, and Kagome pick NO and Kagome picks YES.

"Ogre, Miroku and Kagome are correct." Jeff says as it's the last question for Ogre and Miroku who are at three.

"Looks like it's just the two of us. Lemme fill your pod with my love juices babycakes." Ogre winks.

"LET ME DOWN LET ME DOWN LET ME DOWN LET ME DOWN LET ME DOWN" Miroku yells.

"Next question: What does Shippo have?" Jeff asks.

Ogre, Inuyasha and Kagome say Hoes and Miroku puts LET ME DOWN.

Sesshomaru walks under Miroku pod.

"AHAHAHAHAH AND THIS TIME…" Sesshomaru starts.

"Miroku is incorrect." Jeff says.

"Huh?" Sesshomaru looks up as the pod falls. SQUASH!

**Sesshomaru's death count 23.**

"MIROKU FREEDOM FOREVER!" He runs away.

"Well you guys got it right. OGRE WINS!" Jeff cheers.

"Mmmm!" Ogre pod starts rocking.

"What the hell are you doing?" Asks Jeff.

"If this pod's a-rockin' don't cum a-knockin jeffdumplin!" Ogre says.

"Riiight Anyway come with me and I'll get you on the computer." Jeff walks away.

"mmmm, Jeff…" Ogre jumps down and follows.

Kagome leaves, Inuyasha kicks the pod off of Sesshomaru and then dropkicks his body.

**Ogre is in a room with a computer.**

"Ogre doesn't have anybody to chat with." Ogre sighs.

"Hello, Ogre it's been a while. I'm your reward for winning the challenge." Says the computer.

"You…you're Onigumo's crazy computer." Ogre backs away.

"Don't worry I'm not crazy anymore. I've gone through a menu-pause and had my wires tied." The computer says.

"If you say so baby." Ogre winks. "Okay lets get it on…line hahahha."

"Accessing internet." The computer starts a browser.

"Hmmm…what's this pop up?" Ogre clicks on it.

"You want some hot demon on demon action? Oh baby baby. Click here." Says the pop up ad.

Sesshomaru falls in the room. "Argh…"

"Argh.." Says the computer pop up ad.

"It hurts…" Sesshomaru cries.

"It hurts." Says the pop up ad.

"He's always beating me…" Sesshomaru says.

"He's always beating me." The ad says.

Ogre looks at the computer and at Sesshomaru.

"OGRE ON DEMON ACTION!" Ogre picks up Sesshomaru and walks away.

"Ohhh…" Says the Pop up ad.

"Man it sure sucks to be voted out, doesn't it?" Naraku asks Sango they are talking in a forest.

"Yeah…but you know how I cope?" Says Sango. "I THINK ABOUT BEING DOMINATED BY YOU!"

Naraku is shocked. "OH MY GOD!"

"Naraku?" Asks Sango.

"I'M READY BABY!" Naraku yells.

"For what?" Sango says.

"….for sex" Sango walks away. "Crap." Naraku sighs.

A whole bunch of multi coloured Ogres take him.

**Sesshomaru is lying on a beach with a beach ball with a face on it.**

Sesshomaru coughs. "It's a tough world after you've been voted out…you're lucky you didn't play the game Wilson." Sesshomaru waits for a moment. "…Wilson?" He asks scared. "WILSON! OH GOD DAMN NO! FIRST HENNY NOW YOU! GOD DAMN! I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE!" Sesshomaru runs off.

**Naraku, Onigumo and Shippo are in a forest talking.**

"I was THIS close to booty!" Naraku says. "But then she freaked out and the only booty I got was from a horde of Ogre's."

"Haha, Sucks to be you" Onigumo laughs.

"Shut the fuck up why I outta…"Naraku starts.

"WAHHHHHHHHHHHH MUNCH!" Sesshomaru jumps on Naraku and eats him.

Shippo and Onigumo run away. Once they are a safe distance…

"What the hell was that?" Shippo says gasping for breath.

"I don't know." Onigumo says scared.

"You think he's okay?" Shippo asks.

"I dunno…" They walk back.

Naraku is on the ground missing pieces and bloody foot prints leading away.

"OH MY GOD!" Onigumo cries.

"This is truly something demontastic…" Shippo says.

"Let's get out of here…He might come back." Onigumo start to walk back.

"Hello children." Sesshomaru says walking in licking his lips.

"RUN!" Onigumo yells.

"AHAHAHAHAHA." Sesshomaru chases after him.

**Back in the Survivor castle…**

"Alright, Survivors" Jeff says. "We have a special treat planned for your immunity challenge. We like to have the castaways experience some culture. So our next immunity challenge will come at the courtesy of the natives."

"HELL YES! I'm going to get me some native women!" Miroku cheers.

"So you need to be at the docks in the morning for the trek to…OGRE ISLAND!" Jeff yells.

"Hehe they like it kinda ruff hunny." Ogre says to Miroku.

"Jeff." Miroku says calm. "One of these days…you're going to feel what it's like to be anally raped by Ogres. And I will be there."

"Waiting for your turn?" Jeff interrupts.

"I HATE YOU ALL!" Miroku yells and walks away.

"This will be the best challenge ever…" Inuyasha says.

**Later**

"I'm sure they're already on the ship." Miroku says walking on a beach. "…To Ogre Island. If I don't get on the ship on time…then the boat will leave without me. And if the boat leaves without me…I'll be disqualified from the show!" Miroku runs and runs unto Ogre.

"C'mon baby the boat is this way." Ogre grabs him. "I know you don't want to miss it, gigglepanties."

"LET GO OF ME GOD DAMN YOU!" Miroku screams.

**At Ogre island where the boat landed!**

"Cum on hunny I'll catch you." Ogre says to Miroku still on the boat.

"NO!" Miroku yells. "I'M NOT COMING DOWN! MY ASS ALREADY ACHES CONSTANTLY!"

"Silly it just aches for my luv." Ogre winks. "Now cum down, it'll be fun!"

"…HOW IS HAVING YOUR ASS RAMMED BY FORTY MULTI-COLOURED OGRES FUN!" Miroku screams.

"Do you even need to ask that?" Ogre smiles.

They all walk away.

"Am I free?" Miroku asks.

"Hey sweetie." A blue Ogre walks behind him. Miroku runs away. "Mmmm I must have that ass…"

**All of them walk into a room full of Ogre up to a stage.**

"mmm I get the monk." Says a purple Ogre.

"Back off bitch he's mine!" Yells the brown.

"What do you think's going on?" Whispers the white Ogre to the yellow one.

"The Archogre." Says the yellow one.

"SLIENCE HUMANS!" Says the Archogre. He's an ogre with a crown. "You have been brought before me…so that I may CONDEMN you! To my bedroom."

The Ogres laugh.

"But seriously." The Archogre continues. "We here at Ogre Island have a sacred tradition. As the Archogre I will choose two of you to undergo a sacred ceremony. The ceremony is called 'THE SPECIAL JUICES.'"

Ogre thinks of Miroku naked. Miroku says: _I'm ready for you special juices Ogre…cover me!_

Ogre gets horny and farts blowing Inuyasha away.

"Why do I get the feeling he was thinking about me?" Miroku asks himself.

"Enough I have made my decision!" Archogre yells. "The two who must be blessed are…Ogre and Miroku! If you'll follow me…"

"NO!" Miroku yells.

**A few minutes later.**

Ogre and Miroku are standing on sides of the room.

"What's going on tender nipples?" Ogre asks.

"WE'RE SETTLING THIS! ONCE AND FOR ALL!" Miroku gets into a fighting position. "GET READY BITCH!"

Miroku throws knife's at Ogre. Ogre dodges all of them.

"Heehee watch out now." Ogre says.

Ogre glows white and a huge heart appears above is head. He throws is at Miroku knocking him down. Miroku gets on his knees.

"I'll get you, you bastard…" Miroku cries.

Miroku uses some sutras. "MEGA SUTRA!"

A whole ton of fireballs crushes Ogre.

"It's finally over…" Miroku breathes.

Ogre glows purple and blows them all away.

"Prepare for blastoff baby." Ogre is still glowing purple.

"What the fuck you're supposed to be dead!" Miroku points.

"I'd come back from the dead for you baby." Ogre winks.

Ogre cases Miroku and the Archogre comes in the room.

"From the looks of things." The Archogre says.

"AAAAAHHHHH" You hear a male voice screaming.

"And the sounds of things Ogre has won immunity! If you'll excuse me, I have to go make love to many fine ogre women." Archogre looks around. "OKAY I'M JUST BEATING OFF."

**The festive mood changed as tribal council approached and another member of the Megazongas would be voted out…**

"Welcome to tribal council survivors." Jeff greets. "Remember, when voting tonight you may not vote for Ogre."

_I can't believe he got immunity for raping me…_ This Miroku.

"Ogre does immunity make you feel secure?" Jeff asks.

Ogre thinks of Miroku saying: _STOP STALLING AND BLOW ME YOU WHORE!_

Ogre moans.

Silence.

"Um…I think it's about time to vote. Miroku your first." Jeff says.

Ogre farts. "I had no idea eating ass have you gas…"

Ogre votes and talks to the camera. "Inuyasha I'm sorry I farted on you, but I had to make sure nothing came between Miroku and me. Oh and if you ever wondered why your sword smelled like ass…"

**After everyone has voted.**

"I'll go get the votes." Jeff goes to get them.

"Miroku hunny will you still love me when I'm old and wrinkly? Well just old I guess. I already know you like it wrinkly…hehe." Ogre asks.

"I am so getting a restraining order when we get back." Miroku says.

Jeff comes back.

"Alright. The first vote is Miroku, second Kagome, third Inuyasha and the last vote…Kagome take your torch and leave please!"

**ONE EPISODE LEFT! Which will win? Who will lose? The craziest episode yet is next week!**

Kazer Dragon: Review please! Now I gotta think about stuff for the next episode…


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